Adventures of a Jellicle Understudy
by Mistoffeleesgirl892
Summary: Based on Yayne's story Mistoffelees' New Owner. Alicia Connors has worked hard for years to get onto the cast of CATS, and now she has; to the reproduction of the Movie and revamping of the Broadway giant, no less! But she and Mistoffelees get more than they bargained for after he reveals to her that the Jellicles exist! RE-POSTING because i lost my other account. UPDATES!
1. Ecstatical, CATS!

_Note_

_This is sort of loosely based on 'Mistofelees' New Owner' by _**yayne**_ I liked the story, and wanted to see if I could do something like it, though I changed a few details, like Jacob being gay. He's not here. There are a few other changes as well, either just because this is my story, or I couldn't find out the accurate information. Sorry._

_This happens 13 years after the first video was made. Andrew Lloyd Webber has called the remaining movie cast back to do a 30__th__ anniversary video, with proceeds going to various animal charities and such. They know about the existence of the Jellicles. One new member, Alicia Connors, does not. This is her take on things and what happens during and after the second DVD is made._

**Chapter 1. Ecstatical, CATS!**

Alicia Connors dropped her backpack of supplies and looked around the set. She couldn't believe it. Four years of hard work, surgery, no sleep, no life outside her obsession, and she had made it. She was on the cast of CATS. And not just some little community theatre production, but the real cast, Andrew Lloyd Webber and everything. She couldn't believe her luck. Granted, she was only the understudy for Electra, but she was ON THE CAST, and that was enough. She was also one of the makeup and costume girls, and she knew she might be called on to do a bit of gofer work, but at that moment, she didn't care. She had made it.

Someone sidled up behind her, making her jump. A familiar chuckle rose in the air. "You're the new one aren't you, the little understudy that just barely got in?" Alicia turned around. It was Bryn Walters, player of both Plato and Macavity.

"Go get me a coffee," he demanded.

"I just got here." Alicia stammered, "can't I get situated first?"

"No, you can go do your job, before I get you…"

"Leave her alone Bryn, she's not your personal coffee girl. It's her first day, let her get settled in like everyone else," came another voice. A shorter, dark haired man said, coming up out of the changing rooms.

"Hey, she's a gofer, I'm just making sure she can do her job."

"Don't be an ass, we got tired of it _last_ time."

"Hey, the minute I start taking behavioral advice from a fag…"

"Bryn, that'll be more than enough," came a third voice. A tall, lean man of maybe 40 sidled up to Alicia and wrapped an arm around her as Bryn stalked away "You all right, honey? Next time he bothers you, tell Mr. Webber. We had problems last time. Either the Mac costume turns you into an ass or they typecast him. I'm John, by the way, John…"

"Partridge. Yeah…I, um…I'm sort of a major 'Cats' fan. I'm Alicia Connors, by the way"

"Well then, you're the luckiest girl on the planet now, aren't you, hon? Other than Bryn, you should have the time of your life here, Right Jake?"

The dark haired one nodded "Yeah. I know I'd do nothing differently if I could go back. Jacob Brent, or, as John likes to call me when he wants to piss me of, Quaxoffelees." Alicia shook his hand, grinning. "Wow, I can't believe how nice you guys are. You play my favorite characters. I always figured you'd be a little…you know…"

"Stuck up?" Jacob supplied "Nah, we leave that to Bryn. He's so good at it, you know."

Alicia cracked a smile. Bryn had almost made her cry when he'd threatened to get her fired after only five minutes on set. It was just the wrong time of the month to mess with her.

Bryn came storming back up, punt kicking her backpack out of his way as he rounded on the three. "Hey, gofer, I asked for a coffee, and I haven't gotten it yet. Do your damn job before you lose it! Your not gonna get by here, hiding behind those two poofs! It's not like they can't replace you in a shot! Ha, an understudy for _Electra_? You're pointless! You're _useless!_"

Something snapped. Alicia glared at Bryn, an eye twitching.

"Get your own god-damned coffee! Mr. Webber hired _me_ over hundreds of others, I am not useless! I'm just as important as you, you hack! Your crowning moment is a fucking _Giggle_! You're Plato, a chorus kitten, and Macavity might get his own song, but he doesn't even make an appearance except for before and after! Even Old Gus and Bustopher Jones get more screen time than you, so shut your face and get out of mine!"

Somewhere behind John, a voice sounded "Damn. I like _her_." accompanied with a groan. Alicia wasn't finished.

"Furthermore, if I hear one more gay slur, I'll shove something up _your_ ass so far you'll be coughing up whatever I decided to put there!"

The voice sounded again "Damn…Misto, I _really_ like her!"

"What, you telling me we got another queer on board?!"

"I'm straight as hell, you asswipe, but that doesn't mean I have to listen you go around ragging on everybody that _is_ gay just _because_ they're gay. Now leave me alone before I get really mad and bust out the military training!"

Alicia turned around as a speechless Bryn stomped off, cursing fluently under his breath. "What the hell was that?" Came the amazed sounding voice for a third time. Alicia looked to see who it was. Two people in back were in Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees costumes, looking at her in disbelief. John chuckled. "I think Bryn picked the wrong time to piss her off."

"What?" asked the one in the Tugger outfit.

"I think it's her time of the month."

"How do you know that?" Alicia asked, blushing.

"Honey, I'm Gay. It's sort of my job to know that sort of thing about my girlfriends."

"Ah," Alicia muttered before she took actual notice of the two Jellicles in back. "Hey, who are you two? Are you their understudies?" She said pointing back at Jacob and John "Why are you in costume? Oh, Shit! Am I supposed to be in costume? Why doesn't anyone tell my these things?"

"Hey, calm down kid, you're not supposed to be in costume, Don't worry" Jacob said, patting her on the back. He looked at John and the two in cat getups. "She had to find out sometime, better it be sooner than later." Alicia looked up at him in confusion.

"What's going on?"

"They're not in costume." John said.

"What? What is this? Is somebody pulling a prank on me? 'Cause that's not funny."

"No, honestly, no pranks," Jacob exclaimed, waving his hands in pardon. "Let me explain. You see, the last time we did the video, I went and got a cat that looked like Quaxo, and brought him around the set. As we were filming, ah, well, it's sort of a long story, but he ran off and when we finally found him, he was…well, like you see him now. The last time we made the video, we sort of, kind of, found out that Jellicle cats actually exist."

Alicia looked at him, shaking her head "That's not funny guys, really not funny. I mean, thanks for saving my ass with Bryn back there, but something like this just isn't funny."

"We're not being funny, honestly! Mistoffelees, Tugger, show her."

"If we have to." the Rum Tum Tugger grinned. A slightly glowing haze coated the two of them, and as Alicia watched, the two understudies transformed, impossibly, into a huge black and gold Maine coon mix and smallish black and white tom. Alicia stared for a minute straight, wobbling, before her eyes began to waver. "I got her!" John called as she started to topple over. The two cats looked at each other and returned to Jellicle form as Jacob and John fanned off Alicia.

"Ah, here we go. Welcome back, sleepyhead." Jacob smiled as Alicia's eyes opened. She was sitting on the ground, four faces surrounding her. Two were cat faces. "Ah!" She cried, sitting up in a shot "What the hell? There's no way…no way…this is-this is impossible! Jellicles can't exist!"

"Actually, its ineffable…here, feel my face if you don't believe us." The Rum Tum Tugger said, leaning down in a very non-threatening, very sexy way. Alicia, action taking over in her mind, blushed '_Did I just think a cat was sexy? No, no, this is a prank, he's not a…_' her hand reached up and touched his face of its own accord.

A fine, thin layer of what could only be fur covered it, from his forehead to his nose, to right over the tiniest of clefts in his top lip. The whiskers, which she thought had been glued there with spirit gum, were real. Her eyes grew wide, and Tugger, both to prove his point and to tease her, took her hand from his face. She saw the small, extra joint in his fingers, saw the claws retract, and as he kissed the back of her hand, she felt the tiny barbs on his tongue. Alicia's eyes began to unfocus again, and if she hadn't already been on the floor, she would have fallen. Tugger held onto her as Mistoffelees scolded him.

"Really, Tug, do you have to tease all of them? She's having a hard enough time believing it."

"Hey, she's doing better than Gruber did. He fainted dead away, and we hadn't even Jellicle'd out in front of him."

Alicia sat on the floor, trying to take everything in as she took tiny sips of the water someone had handed her. "I heard my name," came the voice of a third man. He was shirtless, in jeans with the top half of a grey striped unitard hanging over the top. A Jellicle wig and grey tabby makeup dominated his face, but Alicia recognized him. Michael Gruber crouched down and held out his hand.

"I know it takes some getting used to, and if they haven't told you already, don't feel bad: I fainted too." he helped her to her feet, a friendly smile under the makeup. "You're doing better than most of the few new ones. But after that thing with Bryn, I can see why. It's nice to have you in the crew, Alicia. Anyone who can stand up to 'his almighty Brynness' like that is fine in my book. You going to be okay with all this? I know it's a bit of a shock."

"I think I'll be okay…this is just going to take some getting used to. I mean, all the implications…how deep this could go…I…it's just amazing…13 years, and the secret's still under wraps."

"We know when something is important enough to protect. If we let it out, well, you've already realized the implications… I don't think what you could imagine is much off from what might actually happen, especially since you were with the government for a while."

"Yeah…"Alicia whispered. Michael looked up, grabbing a pants pocket as a cell phone went off. "Ooh, gotta go, Charlotte needs me back in makeup. See you around."

"Yeah…"

"So…any questions?" John and Tugger asked at the same time. Alicia looked up at John.

"Are you sure you're gay?"

"Hundred percent, sorry love."

"Damn."

John laughed, and smiled. "Just for the record," he said "I am, but Jacob isn't, despite what Bryn said."

"Really?"

"Yep. Married, with a munchkin."

"Well, damn again." Alicia said, making a silly little sad face. "O-okay, now to you two…" she said, addressing the Jellicles. "How many of there are you?"

"Worldwide or in the cast?" Mistoffelees asked. "Both." Mistoffelees grinned. She was getting used to them pretty fast, if she was prepared to ask those questions. "Worldwide, we're something like 3 to 5 percent of the cat population. As far as the cast goes, there's few more than twenty. And before you ask, Old Gus and Asparagus _are_ two different cats. They're brothers…long story…but everyone else asked eventually."

"Okay. Good to know. Now, how come you two aren't like a hundred years old?"

"What do you mean?" Tugger butted in, looking confused. Alicia frowned, thinking how to put it. "The book this play's based on was written like 90 years ago, and it's … a bit obvious now that you're the ones in the poems. How come you're not older?"

Mistoffelees and Tugger looked at one another. "The man that wrote those poems knew of us." Mistoffelees said.

"Well, not us, per say, but the Jellicles in general. Old Deuteronomy was his cat." Tugger cut in.

"You're joking." Alicia said, sitting down on a nearby pile of 'junk.' Jacob and John quietly withdrew. They knew the story, and they had to get to makeup, besides. Mistoffelees shook his head. "No, really, in his last life, Old Deuteronomy lived with Mr. Eliot. He thought that the Jellicles needed to be remembered, if anything should happen, you know, worried over the wars and everything, but he told Mr. Eliot, and well, you know the rest…"The black cat flushed slightly and rubbed his neck.

"Yeah, but how did he know about you? Are you two on-second lives?"

"No. Um, can you believe in magic?"

"What? Oh, well….I guess if I can accept that a formerly fictional species of cat-beings can exist I can believe in that." Alicia murmured, feeling, now that the shock had worn off, a bit awkward around the two men-toms. She wasn't sure why. Mistoffelees smiled. "Old Deuteronomy has magic. During that lifetime, he had prophetic visions about a few future tribe members and four of his sons."

"Four…? I always heard the 'three brothers theory'; you know, Munkustrap, Tugger and Macavity. Who's the fourth?"

"Well, at least that part is right. People are brighter about this than I thought." Tugger grinned. "Alicia," he said kindly, winking at her and smiling as he wrapped an arm around Mistoffelees' shoulders, "Let me introduce you to my baby brother." Alicia looked at the two in surprise. She could understand the three brothers theory. All of them had at least some tabby markings on their face, and Tugger's mane was striped, even if the rest of him was coated in spots…but Mr. Mistoffelees?

"I know I don't look it. I take after my mum, but…yeah."

Alicia sat there, digesting the information, watching with half an eye as Mistoffelees noticed something stuck in Tugger's mane and proceeded to groom it out. Tugger ignored the process except to lean in a bit. He turned to the stunned girl.

"Anything else? I'm not as disobliging as my song leads everyone to believe, so shoot."

"Um…just how much like cats are you when you're in-Jellicle form?"

"Oh," said Tugger dismissively "it's about 50-50. We look like you, mostly, and we can eat stuff in this form that we can't as cats. And there's the whole talking thing, but we're still cats, so don't get shocked if we do something that's human taboo."

"Like what?" Alicia said worriedly. Tugger grinned. "Well, I've read a few fan fiction stories when John lets me on his computer. Nobody can seem to figure out if Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer are twins or mates or what. They're both, but it works different with cats, sooo…yeah. Same with Coricopat and Tantomile. It's sort of the whole, 'who else would put up with them' thing."

"I see. That does make sense." Alicia fidgeted with the toggles on her backpack. Tugger extricated himself from his brother's grooming and slinked down beside her, leaning in close and speaking softly. "You don't have to pretend to be comfortable around us, you know. I know we're unsettling. You just have to let it come…naturally, dear." He rubbed against her shoulder and purred. Alicia tensed up and blushed furiously before a hissing snicker sounded and the Rum Tum Tugger bounded off. Mistoffelees sent a small blue bolt after the tom, which hit him square in the butt. Tugger hopped spasmodically and Alicia giggled despite herself.

"Did he just hit on me?" came her bemused reply.

"Don't worry about it. He hits on _everybody._ Alicia, he was serious though, about the comfort thing. You don't have to pretend to spare our feelings. We know we're a shock, and we won't be offended if you're a bit jumpy at first, but…if you ever need help, or just someone to talk to, and you don't want another human to hear it, well, we're here, and we know how to keep a secret."

Alicia really looked at him for the first time. Technically, he was in his Quaxo form, with the white on his legs and right arm. His eyes, she noticed, were two different colors, one blue, one gold. Suddenly, he no longer seemed threatening, or even frightening. Just a little strange. She smiled "Thank you, Mr. Mistoffelees."

"Please, call me Misto, or Mistoffelees. The Mister bit's just there to help the song's tempo along."

"All-all right…Misto."

"Miss Connors! I need your help in makeup, someone's tied the mane in knots!" Came a voice from back stage. It was Charlotte. Alicia jumped up, running back to the booths to help the older woman, waving awkwardly to Mistoffelees as she went.

Somewhere near the pipe, Jo, Drew, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer lay piled together in silent giggles.


	2. Accidentical Cats

**Chapter 2. Accidentical Cats**

Over the next two weeks, Alicia settled into the cast. Aside from her, there were five other new understudies, all of whom had had a harder time accepting the Jellicles than she. Sir John Mills, the original Old Gus, had passed away some years before, and Susan Jane Tanner, Jellylorum's actress, had just had surgery, and would only be able to participate in the last part of the recording, so they had to find replacements for them as well. Everyone else was original. And they all were so close in personality to their Jellicle counterparts it was ridiculous

Alicia found her niche well enough. She was friends with just about everybody, and made sure to learn everyone's name. She and Charlotte, a formidable tank of a woman in her early sixties and Maryanne, the ditzy brunette, were continually cracking jokes in the makeup booths. Jacob and Drew were usually hanging out with DVD recorders if they weren't getting worked on or on stage, and Drew had managed to snag outtake gold. Charlotte said something to Michael, already in full costume, that sent him into a fit of laughter so hard he started sneezing. He took a drink to calm himself down, Charlotte built on the original joke, and Michael spewed orange soda out his nose, all over John, who was in all white that day. To get out of the wet clothes, John promptly started a ridiculous striptease down to his skivvies, which cracked everyone up so much the girls had to redo five makeup jobs.

Alicia got along well with most of the 'Kitten Girls' as everyone called the main actresses. The two guys who played Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, Fergus and Karl , were busy teaching her how to do back and front flips better, and acted like they were still in high school, which Alicia appreciated. The people she hung around the most though, were the ones who'd helped her out the first day, and their Jellicle counterparts. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were the two hyperest people-er-cats, she'd ever met, and Drew and Jo weren't too far behind them. Within two weeks, they were behind easily 75 percent of the onstage pranks, and Jojo (as Gibb liked to be called) and Rump were just plain fun to have over at your place.

Munkustrap and Michael were the quiet type, but that was okay. They both were helping her with her routines and Michael had even taught her a trick to lift both male and female actors. Tugger was always right behind her if Bryn started his bullshit, with John on the other side, both cracking jokes at their own expense to cheer her up, and telling funny stories just to make her laugh. Tugger still hit on her, but Misto had been right, he _did_ hit on everybody, even John, which was the weirdest thing in the world to watch when John was in costume…which was usually when Tugger did it. But even with their weirdness, they both seemed to have appointed themselves her guardians.

Jacob and Misto were by far the two she felt the closest to. They could talk about anything, and neither had ever judged her for some of the insane shit she thought up. She even got along with Jacob's wife, Shelby, and his daughter Julia loved her. Jacob had offered to help her continue her Broadway and ballet classes, and she had accepted.

Misto often roamed the set in cat form, and if you couldn't find him, he was on Alicia's shoulders or in her lap, napping, or pretending to, at least. Of all the Jellicles, Misto had been the most vocal about his own kind, explaining some of the rules and a lot of the family trees to Alicia, which she found extremely interesting. She, in turn, told him about her life, the military, how she had tricked their surgeons into stretching her tendons, everything.

He was always surprised by the lengths that Alicia had gone to get what she wanted, as far as the CATS thing was concerned, at least.

"Why would you do that?" he'd asked her about the tendon surgery. She'd smiled "I over extended them for a week on purpose. I knew they'd fix them, because I'd done it as part of my training…trying to be the best, I hurt myself. They admired my 'dedication' so it wasn't too hard to convince them to help me out a bit to make sure I could do what needed to be done, without hurting myself."

"Weren't you scared they'd find out you were duping them?"

With a huge grin, Alicia had whispered "Yeah, but it was worth it."

Misto had to agree.

Filming was taking longer this time around, since Mr. Webber was older, the set was bigger, and they had to work around the Really Useful Company's new schedule, which after a lawsuit, only allowed them to film 6 hours a day. It was mid September when they had started, and Mr. Webber said they wouldn't be done until at least February, due to the fact that they were also making film versions of the top five fan fictions Mr. Webber had seen submitted to an online contest he'd thought up as a way to raise money for the film. The Cast also had to perform in a couple of New York Parades (again, for fundraising) for the ASPCA and a couple of other organizations, but no one minded the longer production time. It gave everyone opportunities to relax.

About the third week into filming, Alicia was hanging backstage, doodling boredly and humming the Cats overture. They were filming the Macavity bit, so she didn't have to deal with Bryn. She sighed, and out of nowhere, Mistoffelees appeared, making her squeak.

"Sorry. You look bored."

"You, sir Cat, are a master of the obvious." Misto bowed sitting and smiled "Thank you, but seriously, what's up?"

"Oh…I'm just mad at myself."

"Why?"

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"And Pandora ruined Curiosity. Come on, what's the matter?"

"I just don't get myself sometimes. I work so hard just to get on the cast of the best musical ever, get on, and three weeks later, I'm wanting more than just an understudy position. I feel so ungrateful." Alicia said, putting down her doodling to face him.

"You're not being ungrateful. You want to better yourself, see what more you can do. You can't have been aiming for Electra understudy, so it only makes sense. Who did you want to play?" Misto asked gently. He hated seeing his friends in a slump.

"I wished I looked more like a guy. I really wanted to play either, well, _you_ or Tugger, but I'm too short for him and too hippy for you, or any tom role. My voice isn't super high, so I can pull off that part. I wanted to play Munkus or Skimble, but again…the hips. And I don't have the chops to pull off Rump or Vicky."

"Yet. I've seen you practice. You try so hard. And you got on the cast with only four years of the classes every other actor's been in since like, age two. That in itself is something. Don't get so down on yourself. Besides…I heard Mr. Webber say he's going to get the Broadway show running again and see if he can get one going in Las Vegas, and that he'd pick people from this cast to do both, so who knows who you might be cast as. You know everyone's moves, so I don't see you _not_ getting a job."

Alicia nudged the black cat, giggling at the very thought of it. "Is that one of your magical predictions, Mr. Smarty-socks?"

"Nope. Just facts, Cici"

"You're easy to talk to, you know that? You're a good friend, Misto." Alicia had long since gotten over her shyness around the toms, partially thanks to Tugger, and to her mantra (_Just remember, they're cats_) so she just flopped over and leaned on the tux tom. She didn't see Mistoffelees blush.

Alicia, tired from a night of intense practice, fell half asleep on Mistoffelees' shoulder. The tux, realizing how embarrassed he felt, and not entirely sure why, shook his head. He was in his thirties, and here he was, blushing because someone fell asleep on him. '_What kind of cat are you, Misto_?' he asked himself '_You've had Victoria fall asleep with her head on your butt and you blush over this? I have to stop hanging out with Tugger, he's starting to mess with my head._'

Misto managed to shake Alicia awake, effectively ending his discomfort, when they heard a thud and a scream. A muffled "CUT!" rang out before a shower of 'is she okay?' reached them. Rosemarie and Phyllida came backstage, Leah Sue between them, crying and dragging a foot bent at a weird angle. Misto and Alicia jumped to help as the two set her down.

"What happened?" Alicia asked

"She landed wrong," Rosemarie said, looking at Leah's ankle as she pulled off the legwarmer. "I think she's broken something."

"Leah, can you move your ankle?" Misto asked as he inspected her leg. It was swollen and quickly turning an ugly purple. Leah tried, and screamed in pain as soon as the ankle moved. "Broken, definitely."

Mr. Webber came puffing back stage, his face pale. "Is she alright?" he asked no one in particular. Alicia and Phyllida both shook their head. "Misto says it's broken." Phyllida said, rubbing her friend in between the shoulder blades to try to calm her down.

"Damn. I've called an ambulance. They should be here in a few minutes. I'll go with her."

"All right, sir. We'll get her out of her costume."

"Yes…do that…I…" Webber said quietly as he went to watch the door, trailing off.

"Is he always that distracted?" Alicia asked. Rosemarie smiled "Only when someone gets hurt. Here, you two help me get her out of this thing. Mistoffelees, is there anything your magic can do?"

Misto shook his head "It only works on Jellicles. I don't know enough about how humans are built to try to heal anyone. I'd probably just make things worse."

"Okay. Um, could you turn around while we…"

"Oh, yeah, sure…sorry."

"Ow. Owowowowowowow. Oh, I'm sorry, everyone. I didn't mean to, I just slipped." Leah said, tears still coursing down her face. "Happens to all of us." Rosemarie said, unfastening the shoulders of the unitard. Alicia pulled off the Jellicle wig gently and used her sleeve to wipe off the greasepaint. "You'll be fine, Leah. I think it's a clean break. You'll be back up in no time."

"Oww. I hope so. But, hey, ow, at least you get to be on film for a little while, Cici." "I don't want to if one of my friends has to get hurt for it to happen."

"Here we go." Said Phyllida as they eased Leah out of her costume. Alicia ran and got a blanket for her, since she was in nothing but her underwear, and it had turned cold the last week.

The ambulance came and took Leah and Mr. Webber to the hospital. It turned out it was a clean break, but it would still take two months to heal well enough for Leah to be Electra again. Alicia felt guilty about it, but she couldn't help but be a little excited. She finally got to be onstage!


	3. Theatrical Cats

**Chapter 4. Conspiritorical Cats**

Michael Gruber sat in the makeup chair as Maryanne dabbed his left eye with grey. Out of the right, he was watching Jacob and Alicia as the girl rucked through Jake's hair, picking out dried blood from where he'd cracked himself earlier on the pipe, chatting idly as if this were an everyday occurrence for her. Feeling only a little guilty, he eavesdropped on them.

"…turns out that I'm Bi." Jacob muttered as he looked up at Alicia's arms, trying vainly to see what she was doing. "Really? I had wondered. I couldn't find a site that agreed with anything, and you shut down your MySpace…I Googled everyone on the cast before I joined so I could get an idea of things, sooo…" Alicia said, grabbing a peroxide swap and dabbing her friend's head. "Yeah, I taught at this ballet school for a while, and the aunt of one of the girls came in for private lessons…her yoga instructor had died and she wanted to try something different…and, well, the next thing I know, I'm looking at sexy underwear to buy her for her birthday. Guess who the aunt was."

"Shelby."

"Bingo! Yeah…just goes to show you can't control or tell who you're going to fall in love with. John about had kittens when I told him. Ooh! No offence Etcy!" Jake yelled back and the yellow queen, who was helping Charlotte. Her daughter Viceverca was glued to her back, dead asleep. "None taken!" she smiled back.

"Well, as long as you're happy…"

"Thing is, I still, well, you know, like men, but, well, we manage that, but that's why Shells freaked when John grabbed my ass last week." Jacob said, a slight blush on his face.

"Please," Alicia laughed, drying Jake's hair roughly. "John grabs _everyone_'s ass. He's as bad as the cat he plays. There, all patched up. How the hell you did this…jeez…"

Michael chuckled quietly when Alicia squeaked as Tugger snuck behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. "I heard that." the big cat murmured in her ear, grinning wickedly "_and_ I can make you pay for it too." Alicia reared an eyebrow, looking back at him. "Really?" she smiled; scooting to the left, she twisted her arm behind him, grabbing a handful of _his_ ass as hard as she could and steered him around her. The shocked tom yelped and jumped awkwardly, his face winced up in pain. "How were you planning on doing that again?" Alicia giggled as he rubbed the sore spot on his butt.

Somehow managing to look suave as he did so, Tugger leaned back, putting an elbow on Michael's wigged head. "You'll have to stop that soon, you know, I'm starting to enjoy it."

"I'll tell Bomba. Her claws should make things interesting."

Tugger looked to the left and yelled "Coming, Munks!" before darting off.

Michael was laughing when a cell phone went off next to him. He snagged it, looking at the name on the I.D. "Cici, phone," he said as he tossed the thing at her "It's your sister." She caught it and flipped it open in one swift move, exchanging the usual pleasantries as she redid Jake's face. Michael was finishing his costume snap up when a yell greeted his ears.

"WHAT?! No, I don't understand. Yes, I'm fucking yelling! What the hell…Oh, I'm coming over there as soon as filming today's over! No, don't tell them, I want them to be surprised! Yeah, yeah, fine, yeah, bye!" Alicia slammed shut her phone and screamed at it, hurling it into the nearest wall. The old dinosaur didn't break, but Jake, Michael, and everyone else in the makeup room stared at her. Jake's face was half done.

"What's wrong?" Michael and Jake asked at the same time. Alicia turned to them, tears running down her face, her eyes livid. "I've gotta go talk to Andrew…I'm sorry…Maryanne, could you…" she trailed off, waving vaguely at Jacob's face. The brunette went to work immediately as Alicia left the room, everyone staring after her worriedly. "I need to quit playing secretary," Michael groaned, knowing nothing good would come of this.

Alicia stomped out through the set, running into Bryn as she stormed towards Andrew. "Hey!" the actor yelled "What the fuck's your problem, Connors? What's wrong with you?" Alicia rounded on him. "Bryn, I do not have time for your bullshit right now! Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe when hell freezes over and you decide to grow a soul, but not NOW!" she stomped off, tears streaming down her face. Bryn followed her with his eyes. "Fine then, see if I ever ask what's wrong with you again. So much for being nice." he called after her.

Andrew Lloyd Webber saw the upset girl coming towards him and stood from his chair slowly. She was crying full tilt by the time she had reached him. Before she could say a word, the old playwright put an arm around her. "Miss Connors, what's the matter?"

"Mr. Webber, I-I…I'm not gonna ask for time off, but…but I'm so sorry, but I might have to come in late tomorrow…family matters…would you …could you please forgive me?"

Andrew saw how upset she was, and patted her on the back. "Whenever you feel like coming in tomorrow is fine with me. I'm sure Electra won't mind playing herself. Whatever is going on, I hope you sort through it okay, alright dear?"

"Thank you, Andrew."

"Just take care of yourself today, okay?"

"I will…thanks…"

Alicia grabbed her things and left the studio. John, Mistoffelees, Michael, and their counterparts surreptitiously peeped out of the door still wondering or just starting to wonder what was going on.

_The Next Day _

Alicia was a demon. She went through every routine with military precision, never missing a step or a note. Every task she was given was taken care of in seconds, and even Bryn was polite to her when she went to grab everyone's lunch. Everyone on set figured out quick it was the wrong day to mess with her. She was scary when she was mad. Andrew watched her with concern, asking her closest friends on set what the matter was. None of them knew. She hadn't spoken a word all day.

During break, John and Tugger were lounging around, yapping about their favorite soap operas, when they heard a yell.

"Tugger!" came Alicia's voice as she came towards them. The two shot up, both thinking of the same plan to get their friend in a better mood.

"Yes?" they asked, looking around at her from behind and striking identical poses.

Alicia paused. Those two were next to impossible to tell apart when John was in costume, and Mistoffelees had glamoured Tugger earlier in the day to look more like he was in a costume. The girl groaned. "Hold on." she muttered. Putting a hand on either one's waist, she leaned between them, looking first at one's luscious rear and then the other's. The real Tugger was on the left.

"You," she pointed to Tugger "Go find Mistoffelees, we've kept missing each other all day, and I need to talk to him."

"Which one?"

"You know what, both. And you," she pointed at John "Gillian needs your help with something. Oh, and guys, thanks; that was cute." The first real smile showed up. It was small, but that was all the two had wanted.

The two smiled and darted off to do their respective favors. Tugger returned with the actor and the Jellicle. Jacob was in the middle of a diet coke, and Mistoffelees was idly juggling four balls of light. They sat down as they reached Alicia.

"Guys, I need to talk to you…um, Tugger…can I speak with them alone?"

"What? Oh, oh sure." Looking only slightly dejected, the big tom left. Alicia sighed, holding her head in her hands. "I am so sorry I'm even thinking of asking this. Oh, god…"

"Cici, what's the matter?" Jacob asked, leaning forward

"What's going on?" Mistoffelees asked at the same time. Alicia looked up at them both, her chin trembling. "You guys know how much I did…how hard I worked to get here, right?"

"Well, yeah. I believe we've both told you you were way too dedicated to this at one point." Jacob said. Alicia nodded. "You both know how much I want this. Between all my dance and theater classes and school, I can't pay my rent. My dad's been paying it…and now he…he…"

"Cici, what's happened?" Mistoffelees asked, concern thick in his voice. Alicia took the kerchief he conjured and wiped her eyes. She looked up at the both of them, her red eyes burning with indignation. "I went over to their place yesterday. They told me that unless I…unless I gave them a good reason as to why I was in this play, they'd stop paying."

"What!?" man and tom yelled in unison. "How could they?" "Don't they know what this means to you?"

"They don't understand," she laughed bitterly. "They never got it, and they thought I was stupid to draw out my Vet's college for this. Maybe I was, but this was…"

"This was your dream," Jacob said, understanding. "They should be proud of you, what you've done is astonishing, when you think of how many _lifelong_ dancers tried out for _any_ roll and didn't get in."

"They just don't get that…they wanted a _good_ reason…not some silly line about a dream."

"What did you tell them?" Mistoffelees wanted to know. Alicia blushed, holding her head and shaking it back and forth, unable to look at them. "That's why I didn't want to ask. _I told them I was dating either the understudy or the main actor for Mr. Mistoffelees_!"

Nonplussed, Mistoffelees sputtered "_Either_ the understudy or the main actor…How'd you get them to believe that?"

"I don't think I did. I acted like a flake…said you two were cousins…both had trick knees and kept hurting yourselves, so it all depended on what week it was…oh, god, I can't do this… I'm gonna have to quit the cast…get a part-time job…oh god…"

"Alicia, what do you need us to do?" Jake asked, feeling troubled for his friend. The blond laughed coldly, glaring at her knees.

"They want proof. They want me to bring someone over this weekend…it's my birthday…. I…I need one of you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend." She shook her head "But I can't ask that of you guys. Damn, Jake, you're _married,_ And, Misto's not human…and I _had_ to say Mistoffelees, it was the only part other than Tugger they'd recognize. And my dad can spot a gay man a mile away, so John was out, and he'd shoot Tugger himself just for being Tugger…and…and…" she realized she was babbling, and crying, and shut up, jamming the handkerchief into her mouth and eyes as she let the tears come.

Two sets of arms wrapped themselves around her, and two heads rested on her shoulder and the top of her head as her friends held her. Jakes voice sounded in her ear. "I don't mind, and Shells would understand." "No." Alicia shook her head. "You're already into it because of John. No... I can't let you risk it with Shelby just for my stupid parents. Maybe…maybe Karl…or Fergus. They'd be able to pull off…"

"I'll do it" Mistoffelees said resolutely "It won't be too hard. I can Glamour myself to look human, and I'm straight, so you're dad can't get suspicious there. I'll pretend to be understudy for Jake. It's not like I haven't before."

Alicia twisted her neck to look at him. "But…Misto, you're a Jellicle…"

"So? Look, I'm not tied down, so there's no one to have to worry about a reaction from, I know all the moves, since they're _mine_, and I know Jake well enough to pull off being his cousin. Besides, you're my friend, Alicia. What good is that friendship if I can't help you out when you need it?" Alicia smiled as he took her hand and squeezed it. He whispered in her ear "Besides, I've seen how uncomfortable the human guys make you; at least with me, you know you'll be safe." The girl flushed, embarrassed he'd noticed that.

Jake rubbed her back until she calmed down, and Mistoffelees didn't leave her side until she had stopped crying completely. Andrew came backstage just as Alicia was getting up. "Are you alright, Miss Connors?" He asked. She beamed at him. "I'm fine now, sir. I just needed some reassuring friends near me."

The old director smiled. "Well, as long as everything is okay. You did well today. Keep up the good work."

"Thank you, sir."

Jacob left with Andrew, since one of the interviewers for the character commentaries was there today (hence all the Jellicles in Glamours) and wanted to snag him for a commentary bit. He hugged Cici goodbye.

"Alicia," Mistoffelees said, looking at her quizzically "Is there anything I need to know about your parents before we do this?"

"Um…not really. But we do have cats at the house. Are you sure a glamour will fool them?"

"No, but they'll see me as a fellow cat, and know me for a Jellicle, and respect me my due."

"Oh. Um…we have dogs too, big ones in the yard, and I sort of… made it a habit to introduce everyone to them. My parents'll think it's weird if I leave you out…"

"Oh…well, to fool them I might have to make the full switch over, but that spell's not super hard, since it's not permanent. Don't worry, Cici, you'll get to stay on the cast whether your folks like it or not."

"Thanks."

Tugger could not understand why Alicia had not picked him, and was being pouty and snide to Mistoffelees because of it. He was not used to being ineligible. Misto could not figure out how to explain it to his brother, and grew tired of his attitude. Munkustrap had to step in the middle of his younger brothers to keep the fight from coming to blows. Their counterparts finally managed to get all three of the brothers to understand the situation, but only with Alicia's help. Tugger pouted for the rest of the week, but understood. Mistoffelees couldn't suppress the tiny little beam of smugness that bubbled in his chest.


	4. Conspiritorical Cats

**Chapter 4. Conspiritorical Cats**

Michael Gruber sat in the makeup chair as Maryanne dabbed his left eye with grey. Out of the right, he was watching Jacob and Alicia as the girl rucked through Jake's hair, picking out dried blood from where he'd cracked himself earlier on the pipe, chatting idly as if this were an everyday occurrence for her. Feeling only a little guilty, he eavesdropped on them.

"…turns out that I'm Bi." Jacob muttered as he looked up at Alicia's arms, trying vainly to see what she was doing. "Really? I had wondered. I couldn't find a site that agreed with anything, and you shut down your MySpace…I Googled everyone on the cast before I joined so I could get an idea of things, sooo…" Alicia said, grabbing a peroxide swap and dabbing her friend's head. "Yeah, I taught at this ballet school for a while, and the aunt of one of the girls came in for private lessons…her yoga instructor had died and she wanted to try something different…and, well, the next thing I know, I'm looking at sexy underwear to buy her for her birthday. Guess who the aunt was."

"Shelby."

"Bingo! Yeah…just goes to show you can't control or tell who you're going to fall in love with. John about had kittens when I told him. Ooh! No offence Etcy!" Jake yelled back and the yellow queen, who was helping Charlotte. Her daughter Viceverca was glued to her back, dead asleep. "None taken!" she smiled back.

"Well, as long as you're happy…"

"Thing is, I still, well, you know, like men, but, well, we manage that, but that's why Shells freaked when John grabbed my ass last week." Jacob said, a slight blush on his face.

"Please," Alicia laughed, drying Jake's hair roughly. "John grabs _everyone_'s ass. He's as bad as the cat he plays. There, all patched up. How the hell you did this…jeez…"

Michael chuckled quietly when Alicia squeaked as Tugger snuck behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. "I heard that." the big cat murmured in her ear, grinning wickedly "_and_ I can make you pay for it too." Alicia reared an eyebrow, looking back at him. "Really?" she smiled; scooting to the left, she twisted her arm behind him, grabbing a handful of _his_ ass as hard as she could and steered him around her. The shocked tom yelped and jumped awkwardly, his face winced up in pain. "How were you planning on doing that again?" Alicia giggled as he rubbed the sore spot on his butt.

Somehow managing to look suave as he did so, Tugger leaned back, putting an elbow on Michael's wigged head. "You'll have to stop that soon, you know, I'm starting to enjoy it."

"I'll tell Bomba. Her claws should make things interesting."

Tugger looked to the left and yelled "Coming, Munks!" before darting off.

Michael was laughing when a cell phone went off next to him. He snagged it, looking at the name on the I.D. "Cici, phone," he said as he tossed the thing at her "It's your sister." She caught it and flipped it open in one swift move, exchanging the usual pleasantries as she redid Jake's face. Michael was finishing his costume snap up when a yell greeted his ears.

"WHAT?! No, I don't understand. Yes, I'm fucking yelling! What the hell…Oh, I'm coming over there as soon as filming today's over! No, don't tell them, I want them to be surprised! Yeah, yeah, fine, yeah, bye!" Alicia slammed shut her phone and screamed at it, hurling it into the nearest wall. The old dinosaur didn't break, but Jake, Michael, and everyone else in the makeup room stared at her. Jake's face was half done.

"What's wrong?" Michael and Jake asked at the same time. Alicia turned to them, tears running down her face, her eyes livid. "I've gotta go talk to Andrew…I'm sorry…Maryanne, could you…" she trailed off, waving vaguely at Jacob's face. The brunette went to work immediately as Alicia left the room, everyone staring after her worriedly. "I need to quit playing secretary," Michael groaned, knowing nothing good would come of this.

Alicia stomped out through the set, running into Bryn as she stormed towards Andrew. "Hey!" the actor yelled "What the fuck's your problem, Connors? What's wrong with you?" Alicia rounded on him. "Bryn, I do not have time for your bullshit right now! Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe when hell freezes over and you decide to grow a soul, but not NOW!" she stomped off, tears streaming down her face. Bryn followed her with his eyes. "Fine then, see if I ever ask what's wrong with you again. So much for being nice." he called after her.

Andrew Lloyd Webber saw the upset girl coming towards him and stood from his chair slowly. She was crying full tilt by the time she had reached him. Before she could say a word, the old playwright put an arm around her. "Miss Connors, what's the matter?"

"Mr. Webber, I-I…I'm not gonna ask for time off, but…but I'm so sorry, but I might have to come in late tomorrow…family matters…would you …could you please forgive me?"

Andrew saw how upset she was, and patted her on the back. "Whenever you feel like coming in tomorrow is fine with me. I'm sure Electra won't mind playing herself. Whatever is going on, I hope you sort through it okay, alright dear?"

"Thank you, Andrew."

"Just take care of yourself today, okay?"

"I will…thanks…"

Alicia grabbed her things and left the studio. John, Mistoffelees, Michael, and their counterparts surreptitiously peeped out of the door still wondering or just starting to wonder what was going on.

_The Next Day _

Alicia was a demon. She went through every routine with military precision, never missing a step or a note. Every task she was given was taken care of in seconds, and even Bryn was polite to her when she went to grab everyone's lunch. Everyone on set figured out quick it was the wrong day to mess with her. She was scary when she was mad. Andrew watched her with concern, asking her closest friends on set what the matter was. None of them knew. She hadn't spoken a word all day.

During break, John and Tugger were lounging around, yapping about their favorite soap operas, when they heard a yell.

"Tugger!" came Alicia's voice as she came towards them. The two shot up, both thinking of the same plan to get their friend in a better mood.

"Yes?" they asked, looking around at her from behind and striking identical poses.

Alicia paused. Those two were next to impossible to tell apart when John was in costume, and Mistoffelees had glamoured Tugger earlier in the day to look more like he was in a costume. The girl groaned. "Hold on." she muttered. Putting a hand on either one's waist, she leaned between them, looking first at one's luscious rear and then the other's. The real Tugger was on the left.

"You," she pointed to Tugger "Go find Mistoffelees, we've kept missing each other all day, and I need to talk to him."

"Which one?"

"You know what, both. And you," she pointed at John "Gillian needs your help with something. Oh, and guys, thanks; that was cute." The first real smile showed up. It was small, but that was all the two had wanted.

The two smiled and darted off to do their respective favors. Tugger returned with the actor and the Jellicle. Jacob was in the middle of a diet coke, and Mistoffelees was idly juggling four balls of light. They sat down as they reached Alicia.

"Guys, I need to talk to you…um, Tugger…can I speak with them alone?"

"What? Oh, oh sure." Looking only slightly dejected, the big tom left. Alicia sighed, holding her head in her hands. "I am so sorry I'm even thinking of asking this. Oh, god…"

"Cici, what's the matter?" Jacob asked, leaning forward

"What's going on?" Mistoffelees asked at the same time. Alicia looked up at them both, her chin trembling. "You guys know how much I did…how hard I worked to get here, right?"

"Well, yeah. I believe we've both told you you were way too dedicated to this at one point." Jacob said. Alicia nodded. "You both know how much I want this. Between all my dance and theater classes and school, I can't pay my rent. My dad's been paying it…and now he…he…"

"Cici, what's happened?" Mistoffelees asked, concern thick in his voice. Alicia took the kerchief he conjured and wiped her eyes. She looked up at the both of them, her red eyes burning with indignation. "I went over to their place yesterday. They told me that unless I…unless I gave them a good reason as to why I was in this play, they'd stop paying."

"What!?" man and tom yelled in unison. "How could they?" "Don't they know what this means to you?"

"They don't understand," she laughed bitterly. "They never got it, and they thought I was stupid to draw out my Vet's college for this. Maybe I was, but this was…"

"This was your dream," Jacob said, understanding. "They should be proud of you, what you've done is astonishing, when you think of how many _lifelong_ dancers tried out for _any_ roll and didn't get in."

"They just don't get that…they wanted a _good_ reason…not some silly line about a dream."

"What did you tell them?" Mistoffelees wanted to know. Alicia blushed, holding her head and shaking it back and forth, unable to look at them. "That's why I didn't want to ask. _I told them I was dating either the understudy or the main actor for Mr. Mistoffelees_!"

Nonplussed, Mistoffelees sputtered "_Either_ the understudy or the main actor…How'd you get them to believe that?"

"I don't think I did. I acted like a flake…said you two were cousins…both had trick knees and kept hurting yourselves, so it all depended on what week it was…oh, god, I can't do this… I'm gonna have to quit the cast…get a part-time job…oh god…"

"Alicia, what do you need us to do?" Jake asked, feeling troubled for his friend. The blond laughed coldly, glaring at her knees.

"They want proof. They want me to bring someone over this weekend…it's my birthday…. I…I need one of you to pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend." She shook her head "But I can't ask that of you guys. Damn, Jake, you're _married,_ And, Misto's not human…and I _had_ to say Mistoffelees, it was the only part other than Tugger they'd recognize. And my dad can spot a gay man a mile away, so John was out, and he'd shoot Tugger himself just for being Tugger…and…and…" she realized she was babbling, and crying, and shut up, jamming the handkerchief into her mouth and eyes as she let the tears come.

Two sets of arms wrapped themselves around her, and two heads rested on her shoulder and the top of her head as her friends held her. Jakes voice sounded in her ear. "I don't mind, and Shells would understand." "No." Alicia shook her head. "You're already into it because of John. No... I can't let you risk it with Shelby just for my stupid parents. Maybe…maybe Karl…or Fergus. They'd be able to pull off…"

"I'll do it" Mistoffelees said resolutely "It won't be too hard. I can Glamour myself to look human, and I'm straight, so you're dad can't get suspicious there. I'll pretend to be understudy for Jake. It's not like I haven't before."

Alicia twisted her neck to look at him. "But…Misto, you're a Jellicle…"

"So? Look, I'm not tied down, so there's no one to have to worry about a reaction from, I know all the moves, since they're _mine_, and I know Jake well enough to pull off being his cousin. Besides, you're my friend, Alicia. What good is that friendship if I can't help you out when you need it?" Alicia smiled as he took her hand and squeezed it. He whispered in her ear "Besides, I've seen how uncomfortable the human guys make you; at least with me, you know you'll be safe." The girl flushed, embarrassed he'd noticed that.

Jake rubbed her back until she calmed down, and Mistoffelees didn't leave her side until she had stopped crying completely. Andrew came backstage just as Alicia was getting up. "Are you alright, Miss Connors?" He asked. She beamed at him. "I'm fine now, sir. I just needed some reassuring friends near me."

The old director smiled. "Well, as long as everything is okay. You did well today. Keep up the good work."

"Thank you, sir."

Jacob left with Andrew, since one of the interviewers for the character commentaries was there today (hence all the Jellicles in Glamours) and wanted to snag him for a commentary bit. He hugged Cici goodbye.

"Alicia," Mistoffelees said, looking at her quizzically "Is there anything I need to know about your parents before we do this?"

"Um…not really. But we do have cats at the house. Are you sure a glamour will fool them?"

"No, but they'll see me as a fellow cat, and know me for a Jellicle, and respect me my due."

"Oh. Um…we have dogs too, big ones in the yard, and I sort of… made it a habit to introduce everyone to them. My parents'll think it's weird if I leave you out…"

"Oh…well, to fool them I might have to make the full switch over, but that spell's not super hard, since it's not permanent. Don't worry, Cici, you'll get to stay on the cast whether your folks like it or not."

"Thanks."

Tugger could not understand why Alicia had not picked him, and was being pouty and snide to Mistoffelees because of it. He was not used to being ineligible. Misto could not figure out how to explain it to his brother, and grew tired of his attitude. Munkustrap had to step in the middle of his younger brothers to keep the fight from coming to blows. Their counterparts finally managed to get all three of the brothers to understand the situation, but only with Alicia's help. Tugger pouted for the rest of the week, but understood. Mistoffelees couldn't suppress the tiny little beam of smugness that bubbled in his chest.


	5. Fictorical Cats

**Chapter 5. Fictorical Cats**

Mistoffelees sat cross-legged in the front seat of Alicia's monstrous old V.W. van, picking up the recent smells of incense, and the ancient patchouli oil that always seemed to inhabit these vehicles. Smells of other things from the van's heyday, some awful, some wonderful, greeted his nose as he waited for the driver to hop back in. Alicia had said she was going to check the tire pressure. Mistoffelees knew she was losing her stomach on the side of the road. He wanted to check on her, but the look she'd given him told him it was better left alone. Awkwardly, he shuffled through Alicia's music selection. Oldies and generic rock, nothing really spectacular, though now that he knew how Alicia drove, he understood why. She was literally addicted to music, and if she was too into it, her attention suffered. He popped in a Beatles C.D. as Alicia got back in the car. She smiled at him, swishing her drink and spitting out the window as she started back on the highway. They had been driving for an hour, and they had three hours to go before they made it to Alicia's parent's place in the country.

At first, Mistoffelees had felt strange, riding in the car as a Jellicle, but it was two days till Halloween, so Alicia had insisted, just so she'd have someone to talk to who could talk back.

That first hour, they had just chatted about everyday on the set, nothing in particular. Mistoffelees pointed out how Bryn seemed to be getting more polite. Alicia said he was just bored, because she didn't react to him any more. After stopping at a gas station for lunch, they drove in silence for a while. During 'Hard Day's Night' Alicia turned to Mistoffelees, something obviously on her mind.

"Misto, I hate to ask…but it's been bothering me, and I don't really want to think of the current situation, so…what's the deal with Demeter?"

"What do you mean?" Mistoffelees asked, scratching his head. There were a lot of deals about his sister-in-law.

"Well," said the girl, looking uncomfortable as she leaned over the steering wheel, "I've noticed that whenever we're doing the Macavity bit she disappears, and the next time I see her she always looks really upset. I thought that whole her being scared of Macavity thing was just a stage bit to tell her and Bomba apart, but now…"

"Oh." Mistoffelees said, looking at the blue shag on the van floor. It wasn't really his story to tell, but she would probably find out eventually, since she and Demeter got on so well. "You don't have to say if you don't want to."

"No, you'd find out eventually. It's just that Dems is kind of sensitive about it."

"He raped her, didn't he?"

"No. No, that's not it. It's actually more sad than it is horrible. It's still horrible, but in a tragic way." Mistoffelees sighed and ran a hand over his ears. "Macavity's… well, he's insane, but he didn't always used to be. I guess you'd call it multiple personality disorder if he were human. He left the tribe, got kicked out, but came back as himself. He was just normal for a while. I wasn't even born yet, so I just go off what cats tell me. Well…Demeter had just entered queenhood, and she fell in love with him. Mac wanted to settle down, so they were mated at the ball the year he came back."

"Wait a minute. What about Munkustrap?"

"He's a couple of years younger than Demeter, so he wasn't fully grown then."

"Oh."

"Well, anyway, things got on well for a couple of years. They even had kits. A queen, then a tom. Everyone thought Mac might be okay, that Demeter might have calmed him down. I was just born, so father couldn't pay as close of attention to his grown son as many wanted him to." Mistoffelees said, a tinge of regret sticking to is words.

"What happened?" Alicia asked, unable to tear herself away from the tale, even though she knew it would not end well.

"One night, Macavity snapped. It never needed provoking, it just _happened_. He beat Demeter half to death and killed the older kit, the daughter. Then he just ran off. That's why Demeter gets upset. She still loves the part of him that was kind, and she knows it's still in him somewhere. She won't leave Munkus for him if he ever gets his mind back, but she does still love him. It's painful for her."

Alicia stared at him for a moment before remembering she was driving. She shook her head. "God, I can only imagine…I feel horrible for ever feeling sorry for myself, ever. Did their son turn out okay? I don't think I've ever heard even a rumor about that."

"He turned out fine. Demeter couldn't handle raising him, so Admetus' parents took him in. Plato doesn't know."

"It's Plato? But he's so…"

"Quiet? He didn't inherit whatever it was that's wrong with Macavity, thank the Everlasting cat. But don't say anything. He doesn't know. None of us younger ones do except me, and I only know because…well…I accidentally read Demeter's mind once, before I had a handle on my magic."

"Cat's got my tongue on a permanent basis, Misto. He won't find out from me."

They sat in silence for a time, Alicia fiddling with the crystals on her mirror and Mistoffelees catnapping at shotgun. Alicia wasn't sure what to think, but she forced herself to think about _something _just to keep from falling asleep at the wheel. She realized what Misto had told her was a deep secret, one that unless Demeter herself decided to tell, was never to reach the ears of any other, and Misto had told her with only a moment's hesitation.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt trusted. It felt strange. Most people figured because she acted flaky, she'd spill the minute someone asked her. Alicia knew how to keep a secret. She had to, with her brother Sheen being the biggest closet case in the state. She smiled at the thought of her brother and looked at his picture on the visor. He looked like her, only a lot scrongier. He tried to cover up everything by acting like a hippie. She wished he would just leave the closet and clean up. She wanted to set him up with John.

She looked over at the Jellicle in the passenger's seat. His whiskers twitched as he napped, and his tail flickered back and forth. He really did look a lot like Jake in the face, but she could tell the difference. He wasn't that much taller than she was, maybe 5'8" at the most, and he was small in cat form too. He really did have a dancers' body, but she'd seen him lift parts of the set that were at least fifty pounds heavier than himself, so she wasn't fooled by his size, she knew he was strong. The short fur of his coat showed off his frame wonderfully, and the Jellicle ruffs, as she called the thicker fur on his arms and legs, looked so much better on the actual cat than on an actor in legwarmer form. Alicia jumped as Misto's blue eye opened. "Somebody's watching me." he grinned, blinking slowly. Alicia blushed, realizing what she had been doing. '_He's a cat! _she yelled at herself. To Mistoffelees she said, "There's just something therapeutic about watching cat sleep, even if it is a humanoid talking cat that occasionally shoots lightning."

Mistoffelees grinned and flipped up in the chair, awake again.

"So, what's the story when we get to your place?" he asked, stealing a drink of her soda. She glanced over him as she flipped off some idiot in a Mercedes who cut her off.

"I told them your name was Michael. Michael Brent…it was just easier for me to remember. I couldn't run around calling you Misto all weekend. They already think I'm way too into the whole Cats thing. If only they knew…sorry. Um, anyway…we've been 'dating' since filming started. Um, I'd be forever in your debt if you didn't mention the Bryn thing to them."

"All right… and?"

"Yeah…um…you know how we all are on set, grabby and everything? We have to tone that down…way down. My dad will freak if he sees you acting like the cat you are around me. Just, you know…act like you would if I were sick, and you didn't want to catch it or something."

"So, just, like hand holding and stuff like that?"

"Yeah, that should work."

"Done and done. Anything else?"

"Yeah," Alicia said, curiosity finally getting the better of her "How the heck are you gonna fool my dogs that you're not a cat?"

"Oh, that's easy. I'm going to cheat!" Misto reached over and pulled a hair off Alicia's head. "Owch!" she groused, rubbing the spot. "Forgive me, and observe."

Out of the corner of her eye, Alicia watched the road. The rest of her attention was on Mistoffelees. Wrapping the hair around his hand, he made a series of complicated movements and said something Alicia didn't understand. Before her eyes, he began to change. A slight blue glow misted over his fur, and the white began to disappear. The ruffs on his limbs shrank away, and his gold eye turned blue as well. Then, everything changed again. His white face grew darker, the rest of him lighter. His ears seemed to trail down the side of his head and shrink, and slowly, a pair of jeans, black jacket, white turtleneck and shoes began to materialize around him. His tail and whiskers disappeared, and in his black hair, a patch that looked frosted the same color as Alicia's blond locks appeared dead center.

In her passenger seat sat not Mistoffelees, but Michael Brent. The transformed tom grinned. His teeth were still a little long, but that would go unnoticed. He pointed at the blond patch in his hair as Alicia tried to drive and look at him at the same time. "I've glamoured myself, and this little bit here makes my scent similar to yours. Your dogs won't only not know I'm a cat, they'll love me! So, what do you think of the look?"

Alicia stared straight at the road. The glamour Mistoffelees was wearing was, for lack of a better word, _hot_! He looked just enough like Jake to pass for his cousin. His face was finer set, and his eyes were the same gorgeous cat blue that they were when he was in full Mr. Mistoffelees form. The turtleneck made him look not only like a theatre buff, but like someone her dad would have trouble finding fault with, someone respectable; and it showed off his chest fantastically. "I approve." she grinned.

"Good. I'd hoped the one I normally use would work."

"Wait, what? What do you mean, normally use?"

"Oh…well, some of us have to go human every now and again to raise money for the junkyard, to keep it going and keep people out of it. I'm one of them, and the one running the spells on the rest. Normally I go out as a freelance computer programmer."

"You're joking" Alicia said, an eyebrow trying valiantly to disappear into her hairline. "No, seriously. I cheat, though, if it makes you feel any better. I don't know the first thing about computers except what Jake's shown me, and he's no whiz at them. I just use spells to make them do what I want. The code shows up later, after I'm long gone."

Alicia said nothing, only shaking her head, giggling silently at the craziness of it all. The insane picture of Tugger in a White Castle outfit crossed her mind, and she burst out laughing. Mistoffelees decided not to say anything.

They made it to her parents' place at about seven in the evening, just as it was getting dark. As Alicia parked, five enormous white dogs mobbed the van. Mistoffelees yelped and flew out of the passenger's seat, into the back, forgetting himself. Embarrassed, he climbed back into his seat as Alicia got out of the car. The five monsters knocked her over, showering her in doggy-slobber kisses. Misto felt his lip curl in distaste. He had no problem with dogs in general, they were just so messy. He cautiously got out of the van, and heard a sharp noise as Alicia grabbed five collars in a maneuver he couldn't see. Five sets of pale eyes looked at him hostilely. Alicia smiled as she introduced the glaring beasts.

"The little one's Sheik, the one next to her is Hera. The two with brown patches are Thor and Minsc, and this guy," she said nodding to the largest of the lot. Beneath the glare he had a dopey, friendly look to his face. "This is Beast. They won't bite, Mist-Michael, as long as I've got them. Come over and say hi."

Mistoffelees noticed that two people had left the house, so he edged over to the dogs cautiously, extending his left hand for them to sniff. His cheat worked, and the dogs immediately began to jump at him and lick at his hands and face. Despite himself, he laughed.

"Well, I see the dogs like him," came a voice. It was Alicia's father, a bear of a man with brown hair and dark eyes. His wife stood beside him. She was a shorter, thin woman with a dark head of hair greying at the temples. "This must be Michael," she said, forcing a smile. Misto understood why, from what Cici had told him. Cici brushed the mud from her tunic and leggings, teasing a dog with a legwarmer. She looked like a dancer, and the reminder probably didn't sit well with her parents. She leapt over the dogs to greet her parents, throwing her arms around them before grabbing Misto by the wrist and introducing him, a sugary forced smile plastered on her face.

"Yeep, this is Michael. Michael, this is my dad, Roger Connors, and my mom, Marisa."

"Hello, Mr. Connors, Mrs. Connors," Mistoffelees said politely, looking up at his friend's father. Even if he hadn't been lying to the man on ten different levels, he would have felt nervous around him. Mr. Connors glared at him suspiciously before taking his hand and squeezing. Mistoffelees did his best not to wince as he shook hands back. "Welcome to our home, Michael. As long as you show everything the proper respect, there won't be any problems."

"Yes sir." Mistoffelees said, stretching his fingers back out. This weekend was not going to be fun.

The house was nice. Big, but not too much, and nondescriptly decorated. The cats, two mixes of fluffy and nondescript breeding, took to Mistoffelees immediately, talking to him and generally making nuisances of themselves as Alicia helped her mom set up the dinner table. Misto absentmindedly petted the grey tabby as Alicia's father stared him down, studying him and eyeing his hair in a strange way.

"You gay or something?" the older man asked. Misto looked up from the cat. "No, sir."

"Bi, then?"

"No, sir, I'm straight."

"Then what's with that hair?"

"Oh, the frosting? That…That's just what happens when there's a prank happy gay man wondering around the set and you fall asleep in the makeup chair." Misto said, thinking on his toes, knowing that John might actually do that to someone. Alicia's father squinted at him as they walked over to the table and sat down. "So you're straight, then?"

"Yes, sir."

For a few minutes, they sat, staring at each other across the table, edgily eating their dinners. Mr. Connors spoke up again.

"How old are you?"

"32," Mistoffelees said, seeing no real reason to lie about his age. "So you're 6 years older than Alicia. Tell me, Mr. Brent, what exactly are your intentions toward my daughter?" Mistoffelees floundered for words as Alicia yelled "DAD!" through a mouthful of food. Her father looked over at her. "I just want to know, to make sure you're safe, honey."

"Uhg, Mom, can't you make him stop? Dad, you do this with everyone! That's why I've had so few boyfriends. I'm scared to bring anyone over, for fear your gonna scare them away."

"Honey, it's my job as your father to make sure you're taken care of."

"I'm 26 tomorrow. And I won't _have_ anyone to take care of me if you keep chasing them off!"

Mistoffelees sat quietly and munched on his fish, the flush he felt creeping over his face making him feel even more uncomfortable. He could tell this was an old argument that he had no part in until someone said his name. Alicia's mother just rubbed her temples and sighed, looking over at him apologetically and shaking her head.

"Alicia, I've protected you since you were a little girl…"

"And I appreciate it, but I can take care of myself now, Dad. I'm not wholly socially pathetic."

"I just want to make sure no one's going to take advantage of my little girl."

Alicia shot an apologetic look Misto's way before she said "He's a theatre nerd, Dad, and I was in the Marines for four years. I think I can take him if he does something stupid, which he won't, 'cause he's not like that."

Mr. Connors glanced over at Mistoffelees and turned to his daughter. "You've only known him for a month and a half. How can you be sure?"

"Because…" she faltered. The lie might start to unravel if she weren't careful. "He's a good man, Dad. He's decent and kind and he'd never hurt anyone if he could avoid it. He's the nicest person I've met in years, and we're closer than I am with most of my old friends. Definitely closer than anyone from the military."

"Oh, Really?" Mr. Connors said, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms and glaring at Mistoffelees, who unconsciously sank down in his chair, a tiny bit of magic ready to go if he needed it. "And just how _close_ are you?"

Alicia's eyes grew wide when she realized how what she had said had sounded coming out of her mouth. It was true, they were close friends, but her father had heard otherwise. Mistoffelees shot upright and turned a furious red. Alicia backpedaled, holding up her hands. "It's not like that. Michael's been the perfect gentleman."

"And what do you mean by that?" Alicia's mother cut in, staring first at her daughter and then turning to study Mistoffelees. Alicia turned the same shade of red as Misto, not believing her parents and what she was going to say next. Throwing her hands down, the girl burned holes in the table cloth as she spit, "We've only been to second base! And it was his idea to go slow, so there, are you happy now!?"

"Not entirely, but I'll let it go. For now." Mr. Connors said.

The rest of the meal passed in awkward conversation stilted along by Marisa. Mistoffelees explained away the understudy confusion and told them when he wasn't in theatre he worked with computers, which was sort of true. Alicia's brother Sheen, a purposefully grungy man who smelled of other men and was obviously trying to hide it, came in midway through the meal and effectively took the conversation off of Misto and Alicia. The Jellicle had never been so glad to see a human.

Mistoffelees got sequestered to the couch that night, and had to put a sleeping spell on Alicia's parents so _he_ could sleep. The Glamour wouldn't work when he was unconscious.

The next day was Alicia's birthday. The family went out to dinner at a local Italian restaurant. It was an awkward dinner. Misto found himself sandwiched between the siblings Connors, including Kiki, Alicia's adopted Asian sister. He and Sheen got along well, and Kiki seemed all right, but it was awkward. Alicia put on her best face for her family, accepting their gifts gratefully.

Kiki had gotten her a large stack of Manga, and Sheen produced a huge set of oil paints from out of nowhere. Her parents gave her a small topaz ankle bracelet. Mistoffelees had to run out to Alicia's van to conjure something he had left at Jake's place. He returned with two boxes. In one was a lime green netbook with the best hard drive and memory the cast had been able to band together for, and two box seat tickets to Phantom of the Opera. Almost everyone loved the kooky little understudy, it seemed. Alicia beamed when she saw them. The smaller of the two boxes was wrapped in black, and Alicia tore off the paper slowly. Inside lay a pair of satin black ballet slippers, with white and blue and white and gold laces. Only Alicia understood the reference to Mistoffelees himself, and knew he'd made these with magic. She would ask him what they did later. Right then, she was too busy giving him a hug.

Sheen and Kiki approved of the gift, but Misto felt Alicia's father's eyes boring holes into his back. Dodging out of the hug, he smiled at her awkwardly. She blazed a huge, friendly smile at him, and set the shoes with the rest of her presents under her chair.

"Let's see you wear 'em, sis" Sheen said, earning a glare from their father. Cici moved to get them, but Misto, seeing an opportunity to do something that would help her keep up the ruse, bent down to do it for her.

"What are you doing?" she whispered at him frantically. "This is innocent enough your dad can't say anything, but it looks like something a dance geek boyfriend would do. Just go with it."

"What do they do, anyway?"

"What makes you think they do anything?" he said, finishing the laces on the first slipper.

"Misto, it's _you_."

"Point taken. They give you perfect balance, and let your legs move however you want them to without pain. Pretty much, I just gave you cat legs."

"Thank you." Alicia said. She was touched. Even for a ruse birthday gift to keep up a lie to her parents, he thought of her. If only he were human.

Alicia stood, testing her weight on the shoes, and going on Pointe. Forgetting herself, she glided to the small dance floor. She had worn tights and tunic again that day, and with the slippers, everyone in the restaurant could tell the petite girl was a dancer. She combined several of her Cats routines, including the hard part of the Invitation, and part of the Conjuring Turn. The music of the band unconsciously changed to something slower, and Alicia stood oblivious to people as she went through every difficult movement, every formerly impossible step. She felt only slightly letdown knowing it wasn't really her, but the shoes, but she knew she was at a level she would get to eventually, and she felt like giving her folks a taste of the _real_ reason she was on the cast of Cats.

The crowd cheered when she ended her impromptu recital, and Alicia blushed. Misto smiled, glad to see his work do some good.

That night, Mistoffelees burned his whiskers lighting a candle. He hid in Alicia's bathroom to inspect the damage, but forgot to lock the door. Alicia walked in on him with his face in Jellicle form, and couldn't help but giggle at how lopsided he looked with his whiskers missing. He was in the process of regrowing them when the door swung open again.

"What's going on in he-ahrg!" Her father's voice boomed.

Alicia sprang to action as soon as she heard the hinge creak. She grabbed Misto by the face and crushed her mouth over his, using the small step next to her tub to get up higher than him, and shielding his cat's face with her hair. A tiny jolt passed through her lips as she kissed him. A blue and gold set of eyes strained as wide as they could go staring at her in shock before Mistoffelees felt the swish of the door and understood. By the time Alicia jerked away from his face, yelling "DAD!", he was thoroughly out of breath, and had on Michael's face again.

Mistoffelees had to endure two hours of glares from both Alicia's parents before they went to bed. He once again called the couch home and set up the sleeping spell. Alicia crept to his side at around midnight.

"Sorry about that…you know…what I did earlier. Dad would have seen you otherwise, and I…"

"It's okay, Cici." Misto said, nudging her shoulder with his head. "I know it was just a fake-out. At least I know now how willing you are to protect the Jellicle secret. I thought your father was going to punch me for a second there, though."

"He might have, if I'd let him alone with you for a minute. He's way too overprotective."

"I've noticed. What was the deal with him asking me if I were gay? Isn't' your brother…"

"Shhhh! Sheen's a closet queen; it's a secret. Dad really isn't against gays, but…I tried the whole bring-home-a-gay-friend-pretend tactic once and he's been suspicious ever since."

"Oh."

"Yeah…look, I just wanted to apologize. And thank you, for the shoes. I can't believe you did that for me." She said, leaning on him and using his shoulder for an arm rest.

"Well, you _are_ my friend, and I know how much this all means to you. Uh, those slippers do do one other thing."

"What?" Alicia asked, a little wary. Mistoffelees had a weird streak in him, and it came out in the weirdest places.

"The more you use them, the more your actual skills will improve. It'll just happen without pain and without you risking ripping a tendon out. No more fooling government surgeons, okay?"

"Okay." she agreed happily. "'Night Misto." she said, going back to her room. Unaware of it, she stroked his ears as she walked off, hitting a sensitive spot that sent a tingle down his spine. He shook it away quickly. "'Night Cici."


	6. Erratical Cats

**Chapter 6. Erratical Cats **

_(In which I throw together a bunch of random stuff for a filler chapter.)_

John Partridge lounged in the makeup chair, reading out loud an article in a skin magazine, trying unsuccessfully to make Charlotte blush as the older woman tied back his hair. The Sherman Tank behind him yanked on a lock and laughed. "You're going to have to do better than that to embarrass me, John. I think it's working for Maryanne though." The brunette in question was a shade of violet that John was previously unaware people could turn. He sighed and put the magazine down, and looked around boredly.

Ken Page and the real Old Deuteronomy, who rarely made it to the set, were glancing over in his direction, shaking their heads and chuckling in an annoyingly knowing way. Etcetera, who seemed to have found a talent with makeup, was wrestling a wig onto Jo Gibb's head, while Jake sat flopped upside down in the opposite chair. Michael and Skimbleshanks were arm wrestling as Tumblebrutus and Admetus watched.

On the set, he could see Jellylorum, Jennyanydots, and Elaine watching over the passel of kittens that were roaming around backstage. Mr. Webber was leafing through something, looking quite pleased with himself. The real Grizabella was hanging off the old chair, flirting mercilessly with Tony, just to watch his reactions. John was _bored._

"Where's Cici and Misto?" he yelled at Jake across the room. The younger man vaulted upright, shaking his head clear before he answered. "They'll be here soon. Cici just called me. Apparently her parents were being difficult."

"Ah. I never realized how boring it is around here without those two around. At least her folks left her alone, let her stay on. I was prepared to whore myself out to help her pay her rent." Michael snorted from his arm wrestling. "You'd do that anyway, you man-slut. You just want an excuse." John puckered his lips at him, making kissing noises. Skimble laughed and lost his concentration. And a long argument ensued as to whether John counted as Michael's handicap or not.

Alicia burst through the doors with a loud, "Hello!" tossing her bags into the pile and cartwheeling across the set. She even waved at Bryn, who gave her a confused sneer. John and Jake popped out of the makeup room to say hi. She sped over to them and leapt on them both, trapping them in a bear hug, yelling "I'm Home!" John untangled himself and pointed at her, "No, hon, you were there yesterday." he laughed.

"Wrong. This set is more like my home than that place."

"That bad, huh?" Jake said as Alicia took up her usual spot in the chairs, working deftly on Tommi's Coricopat face. "Uhg, worse. Worst family visit, ever. I think Misto was about ready to marry my brother out of thanks, just for showing up and taking my dad's glare off him for a while!"

"I wouldn't go _that_ far." Mistoffelees laughed as he popped into the room. Half of the people jumped.

"So, what was the deal, they give you shit or something?" Tommi asked, his eyes closed as Alicia painted them. "Yeah. They're always so suspicious of anybody I bring home. I just don't date anymore…it's too much damn drama."

"Well, lass, maybe they're just concerned." Skimbleshanks said, knowing the concern he'd had for his own daughters. Alicia shook her head as she put Tommi's wig on him and sent him out of the chair, "No, Skimble. They just …I don't know. It's just a pain in the ass that I can't do what I want with my life because they don't approve." "She's right. They're twelve times worse than you and Jenny have ever been." Mistoffelees said.

"Oh, well, at least you got it over with," Jason (Alonzo) said as he put his own face on. "You get to stay on the cast, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"And, look on the bright side of things," Admetus cut in, propping his elbows on Misto's shoulders. "Mistoffelees finally got himself a girlfriend."

Alicia blushed and snorted with Phyllida at the face Mistoffelees made. The black cat dodged out from under the grey's arms, and with a quick word, a torrent of water crashed down on Admetus' head. The water went away with a flick of Misto's tail, but Admetus sat on the floor, sopping wet. "Mew!" he groused, forcing everyone to laughter. Charlotte threw him a towel before Misto took pity on him and dried him off. Phyllida leaned over, asking Skimbleshanks "Are they always like this?"

"Only since they could walk, lass, only since they could walk." he laughed, going back to arm-wrestle with Michael again.

"Well, anyway," Gruber called over the din, since he hadn't been able to get a word in edgewise "I think everybody here's glad you get to stay, Cici."

"Thanks," Alicia said as she finished Phyllida's face. She was immediately thrust into a chair by Charlotte. As she was being worked on, she saw the Rum Tum Tugger cart wheeling across the set, the silliest look on his face. "What's the matter with him?" she called back at Jake. "Not a clue. I think he got into John's Redbull again."

"Not a chance, love," the man in question said as he fiddled with the boots that gave the Tugger costume such big feet, "I locked it up after last time." Alicia suppressed a shudder at the thought of Tugger hopped up on Redbull and Misto laughed.

"It's Halloween," the Jellicle said. "It's the one day we get to run around like idiots and not care about getting caught. I'd almost forgot."

Tugger wasn't the only cat excited about the prospect of being able to run around in the daylight hours. The set buzzed with feline energy, and Alicia barely escaped getting run over by a pack of kittens running past the booths, Jellylorum hot on their tails. Alicia jumped as Mistoffelees materialized next to her. "They're all excited about the ball too, you know."

"I thought you did that in summer?" she said, fanning herself. Mistoffelees shook his head. "The Jellicle Moon shows up at different times of the year. We just sort of automatically know. It'll be here next month this year. We'll start thinning out for a while, routines and stuff, but the whole cast is invited to come."

Alicia let his words sink in, her eyes bright and wide. "You mean we all get to…and we…" Misto smiled, he'd wanted to tell her personally, just so he could see her reaction. "Yep, all of it, Heaviside Layer and everything."

Alicia had never thought she would actually get to see a Jellicle Ball, and a bubble of happiness sat down heavily in her chest and determinedly stayed there. She couldn't believe her luck. Every fight with her parents and every minute of pain during training suddenly seemed a hundred times more worth it. She grinned hugely and hugged Mistoffelees, who didn't react quite as fast as he thought he should. She beamed at him, before pulling away, gasping "I have to talk to Tugger! Sorry!"

The Rum Tum Tugger was in the middle of a handstand, trying with difficulty to see though his mane, when he saw feet. Gracefully flipping forward and coming up standing, he looked down at Alicia. "Oh, Hi." he said in a halfhearted sort of way. Alicia smiled and took his wrist. "Tugs, can I talk to you…please?"

"Sure" he shrugged offhandedly, following her, his hyper buzz gone. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Tugger, look, I know you're not used to being shot down, and I know I hurt your feelings. But for one thing, this was just for fake, I wasn't really going out with either of you…and for another, I didn't want you getting hurt."

Tugger laughed a little bitterly "You didn't do too good a job with that last one, Ally."

"Tugger, please, you're my friend. I did consider you, but, well, you can ask Misto. He was the perfect gentleman and my dad still almost punched him at least twice."

"I could have done that. Been good, I mean. I do know how to behave."

"I know, but you can't lie to yourself, and your real personality is just too big to hide. You're…well, you're a playboy, and my dad…he's really overprotective…oh, I don't know how to explain it…you don't have kids, do you?"

Tugger looked at the understudy in Electra's face, and smiled. "Actually, I do." he saw that this took her by surprise, and his smile widened "A little queen, with Bomba. She'll be two in a couple of months."

Alicia smiled back, knowing what to say, now. "Okay. And you love her to pieces, don't you?"

"I'd kill for her."

"Well, what happens in ten or twelve years when she brings home some tom she wants you to meet?"

"I'd beat the stuffing out of the little sot."

"Why?"

"'Cause I know what I'm like, even now, and I'm playin' it safe and assuming he's…the same…way…" Tugger stammered to an end, realizing the truth. "That's it, isn't it? You're dad's just like me, isn't he?"

"Well…just in that regard." Alicia grinned "Personality wise, I like you a lot more. So are we friends again?"

"Of course."

Tugger leaned forward and gave Alicia a gigantic hug, his mane making her sneeze. The big cat laughed and got up as he heard the choreographer yelling for her. "You'd better get going," he said. "Oh, and…I'm back!" Alicia squeaked as he copped a feel and ran off, his insane grin forcing her to smile, even as she lobbed a soda can at his head.

_On the set_

"Turn, turn, left kick, plié, back, back, right kick, plié, Connors, step back into time, turn, drop, claws out, circle round!" Gillian instructed over the singing of the actors and the music in the background. No one was in costume, just wigs and face paint, and they were trying for a flawless routine. Alicia kept tripping up on 'statistical cats' and had trouble keeping it up. She'd never noticed in the video how up front Electra really was, at least not until Jo kicked her in the chest on accident when Cici mis-stepped and Jo thought she was a row back. Gillian shook her head, clapping tersely. "Five minutes everyone. We'll pick up at 'practical cats.'"

Alicia flinched as Jo apologized and ran off to grab a soda. Bryn gave her a dirty look and sneered, and Gillian came up. The old choreographer put an arm around Alicia's shoulders. "Connors," she began, "you did so well the other day when you were upset. You seem even more distracted now, and if you don't pull it back into shape, we'll have to bring out one of the other girls."

Alicia blanched, and hung her head. "I know, Gillian. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I need to go get in a fight."

"Now, don't be that way. I didn't mean it like that. Just get the focus back like you had then. Get pissed at whatever it was, and use your anger. I don't want to have to lose you, you've too much potential."

"Thank you…I'll try." Alicia said as she went off to distract herself. She waved at Munkustrap, who was tossing one of the kittens, a tiny calico queen, up and down as she shrieked with laughter. Not paying attention, she ran head on into a cat with a pile of costumes going to the drycleaners. She couldn't tell which one it was until she went to help them up. It was one of the Asparagus's, she couldn't tell which.

"Ah, 'ello then, I was looking for you." the older tom grinned as he took her hand "Jellylorum wants to know if you'll help with the kittens tonight when we take them out for Halloween, and Wendy's (_costume supervisor_) looking for all of these to be washed."

"Ah," Alicia said, looking over the monstrous pile of Lycra and limb warmers. "Yes, to Jelly, And _Damn_, is this every costume we have?"

"Seems that way, don't it? Here, I can take half of them."

"Oh, thank you. God, you wouldn't think a bunch of dancers could raise that much of a stink or sweat so much!"

Asparagus laughed and wrinkled his nose as he walked with her. She yelled across the set at the actress who played Cassandra. "Rebecca, I love you to death, but if you don't quit the garlic diet I'll kill you!" Rebecca stuck out her tongue and went back to talking with Femi.

"So which one are you anyway?" Alicia asked Asparagus. "I never see either of you around set much, and you look the same age, now. Are you just Gus, or old Gus or what? I know you're brothers, but it's confusing."

"Ah, I'm the younger one. Call me Perry. Whoa, easy there!" He jumped out of the way of Pouncival and Admetus as they chased each other around the set. "Anyhoo…" the older tom laughed, opening the door to outside with his tail, "you can tell us apart by our chins, more white on Gus's. Oh, and our eyes, there's more white around mine, see?"

"Oh, I see now." Alicia said as she loaded her half of the costumes in her van. She'd drive them out at lunch. "So, how's it work out that you two got the same name? I thought that was a big Jellicle no-no."

"Ah, blame Gus f'r that one. Our mum was an initiate, used to be a true cat, but the tribe accepted her in, once a Jellicle, always a Jellicle and what not…anyhow…Gus went missin' for about ten years when he was fifteen, I come along five years later, and Mum's so happy havin' another son she just ignores the rule, really didn't know any better."

"Where was Gus the whole time?"

"Where else? " Perry grinned, thinking it funny "Traveling theatre group."

"Of course." Alicia grinned. They went back inside, laughing over the irony of it when Asparagus threw a violent coughing fit. Alicia thumped his back, and while the tom tried to hide it, she saw the blood in his palms and at his mouth before he could wipe it away. "What's wrong?" the girl asked, panic lacing her voice. Perry grinned resignedly. "Ah, my girl, there's nothing you can do for it. Don't worry yourself."

"You cough up blood and tell me not to worry? What's the matter?"

"Heh heh. Ah, bein' a cat has it's downfall sometimes. Jellicles aren't supposed to get normal cat diseases, but here I am with Feline Leukemia, can you believe it?"

"My god, have you…do you need…is there anything I can do?"

"Nah" Asparagus said, waving her off good naturedly, licking the last of the blood from his hands "My owners are getting me treated, and Mistoffelees and old Deuteronomy's magics are keeping it under control. I'll last a few more years before I need the Layer yet, or I hope so anyway. But if not, well, I've had a good life."

"You're so calm about it" Alicia marveled

"It's not a cat's nature to worry over what they can't change. We just contemplate every outcome and continue to do what makes sense."

"Well, you're all more sensible than people, then. Um…" Alicia ended lamely, not sure what to say next.

"Gillian probably wants you back now. It was nice talking with you, miss Connors. The other cats were right about you. Now go on, and don't worry your pretty little head over an old tom like me."

Her abrupt concern for Asparagus gave Alicia something to be upset about, and she focused on that during the routine, which she got perfect, only managing to overextend her leg, which no one noticed until she limped away when they were done and could finally feel the pain. She slipped into the shoes Misto had made for her and sighed as the pain ebbed away. Andrew blew a whistle somewhere on the set, and the actors all went running, still in Cat mode, to sit at his feet. The older gentleman grinned, before going over a list he had.

"Things are going fairly according to schedule, and myself and the others on the head crew have decided who gets what parts in the other five features we're doing."

"Yes!" Drew, Tommi and Frank shouted in unison. They'd been looking forward to the fan stories the most. Andrew cleared his throat. "All right, just to clear the air, Ken is staying as Old Deuteronomy, and Elaine gets to keep Griz, but most of these you'll be in the 'Jellicle Songs' outfit. Now, in the 'Artificial 9 lives' bit, John gets Tugger."

"Of course," groused Karl, hating how short he was. Andrew continued "We want Fergus to do Munkustrap for this one, need him to look more like a cop, and Veerle gets the Demeter role. Rose stays as Bombalurina, but Susie takes up Griddlebone's place, Drew stays as Mungojerrie, Phyllida gets Rumpleteazer, Michael gets to be Macavity in this one, and we want Karl for Mistoffelees."

Karl did a goofy backflip and stuck his tongue out at Jacob, who shoved him playfully and listened. "Now for the sequel that I need to rename, everyone gets to keep the parts they have now, though I want to see the two Jos and Cici for a role if Leah Sue isn't back by then." Andrew went on. "Now, in the Episodes of Jellicle Lives, everyone keeps their roles, _initially_. I want to run through it once, just to see, before I make any judgments. For the 'Tug My Heartstrings,' well, I'd like for everyone to keep their parts, but it'd be an issue with Shelby, so Tommi and Jake get to switch places."

"Wait, what?" Tommi croaked. That had been one of the ones he'd actually read. "You mean I have to make out with…?" he stammered, pointing at John, who winked

and blew a kiss at the actor. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Cori-boy-I'm taken, remember?"

Tommi sat down, his face red, but sort of glad he'd been picked for one of the harder roles. "But for the follow-up, with the female Mistoffelees, I'd like Miss Connors for that part."

"Huh?" Alicia's jaw dropped "Well, I was going to give the part to Phyllda, originally, but I figured with as close as you are to Jacob and Mistoffelees, and those two maned idiots, that you'd be the better fit for it." Andrew said, smiling good naturedly as John fluffed an imaginary mane, pretending to be hurt. "Are you serious, Andrew? I'm not that great a dancer."

"Read the script, dear, there's not much dancing in this one. Of course, if you'd rather not…"

"No, no, I'll do it, you just surprised me."

"Alright then, moving on… the last one, that horror story…yes, everyone keeps their parts in that one, but…is anybody here good with digital editing? If not, you're all going to have to go anorexic for a few weeks."

Mistoffelees popped up behind Andrew's shoulder, causing several startled yells. The black cat gazed at the script for a second, wrinkling his nose. "Well, it's well written enough…horrible event wise, but well written…I guess I could hex the computers for you."

"Mistoffelees, lad, you are a lifesaver." Andrew chuckled, fanning his face with the stack of papers "Now stop flickering about before you give this old man a heart attack. Now, any other orders of business?" He asked, turning to the actors. "Bryn's still an ass." John snickered, earning a glare.

"Yes, well, there's nothing I can do about that one. Anyone else…with something legitimate before I sic Gillian back on the lot of you?"

Alicia stood up, a bit embarrassed. "Okay…first off, thanks everyone, for my birthday. I love the netbook. Andrew, thank you, especially, for your gift." She stopped to wink slyly at Mistoffelees, tapping her foot inconspicuously. "Now, second off, I have two box tickets for 'Phantom' and need someone to go with me."

"What night?" Susie asked, checking her planner.

"Saturday."

"I'm out, love" John said "Date that night, and Jon will hack off my feet if I cancel."

"I'm out too…Shelby's still mad at me because of Grabby John back there."

Michael shot Cici an apologetic look. "I'm free, and I'd love to go, but I have a restraining order on the guy who plays Erik"

"What, seriously? _You_ have a restraining order? Mister Responsible?"

"It's against him, not me…ass broke my nose four months ago 'cause he didn't get my role."

"Ouch."

Before anyone else could say anything, "Ooh, 'Phantom' tickets!" came Tugger's voice as he snuck up to the patch of actors. "I'll go. I've been wanting to see it, but Pops won't let me out of the junkyard by myself anymore."

"That's because you got yourself plastered last time, you furry git!" Mistoffelees called, sending a ripple of giggles through the crowd. Tugger glared at him before turning to Alicia, doing his best pity-the-kitty face. "Oh, alright…but you can't go looking like that. You have to go looking human." Alicia conceded, throwing up her hands.

"Fine, but we'll have to sneak 'Mister-Fleas' in, the Glamour tends to wear off faster on me."

"Okay." Came Cici's and Misto's voices at once. "And don't call me Mister-Fleas, or I'll tell everyone just _why_ there are so many dye boxes in the junkyard."

"Grrr."

The brothers fake glared at each other as the actors dispersed, snickering..

_Halloween with Kittens_

"But I don't wanna be a cockroach!" Viceverca whined as Etcetera adjusted her costume. "Now, VeeCee, you have to have on some sort of costume."

"But why can't I be a cat? Uncle Tugger's going as himself! It's not fair! And Cockroaches are icky!"

"Well, Uncle Tugger's a bit older than you, isn't he? When you're Ball age, you can be whatever you want, but this year…" Etcetera was cut off as Cici, Mistoffelees, and the uncle in question turned the corner. "So, are we all set, Midgets?" Tugger grinned, getting on a knee and getting mobbed by kittens. A little orange queen that looked suspiciously like Skimbleshanks nodded "Yes?" Tugger said. She shook her head "No? You've confused me, now, Falli."

"Viceverca's bein' a mouse about her costume." said an older tomkit splattered with grey patches.

"Now, is that true, VeeCee?" Tugger said, looking at the little queen in mock severity. "But roaches are icky, and I was a roach last year and…and…"

"Watch this," Misto whispered to Alicia, nudging her in the ribs.

"I'm kinda surprised with how good he is with kids."

"Just watch."

"Well now" Tugger began, standing and picking the little queen up by her arm pits, "Roaches _are_ icky…let's see, what else is there…I know, what about a spider?"

"Ewww!"

"No…hmmm…a rat?"

"I'm not lunch, uncle Tugger."

"Mmm…no again…I got it! How about, um…butter?"

"Butter?" Viceverca and Etcetera repeated, sure Tugger had lost his mind. With a wink to Misto, he nodded. "Yeah, Butter. You know, shows up in summer, flaps around all wings and colors, likes flowers a lot."

Viceverca giggled, "You're silly. Those are butter_flies._"

"Oh, right, _butterflies_! Where _is_ my brain? Well, do you wanna be a butterfly?"

"Ooh, all blue and red and shiny?" Viceverca's eyes got big, and her rear end wiggled with excitement. "Yes yesyesyes yes! Mom, pleeeease, can I Mom, can I can I can I?"

Etcetera sighed. "Oh, all right." she grinned at the three and winked. Mistoffelees rolled his arms and sent a shower of light over the kits, shouting "Presto!" as their costumes changed. Viceverca had gigantic multicolored butterfly wings, the other kittens were indistinguishable from human children in costume. A few seams appeared in Etcetera's fur, and she looked like a cosplayer of herself. Alicia was in her homemade Mr. Mistoffelees outfit, which had earned the real one some teasing until she showed Tugger the static electricity rigs she'd built in, which shut the teasing up rather quickly.

"So, Misto, where's your costume?" Alicia asked. "It's going to be weird to have two of you."

"I've got it right here." Misto smirked, pulling an oversized red and white hat from out of nowhere, plopping it on his head. Alicia just looked at him, deadpan. "You're joking? 'The Cat in the Hat?' Seriously?" Mistoffelees gave her a goofy smile and hopped away as she whipped her tail at him. Tugger just laughed.

They were joined soon after by Jellylorum and Bombalurina, who handed Tugger a small red, black, and gold kitten with an adorable white face, who was fast asleep. "Your year this year," she said before kissing his nose and sashaying away. Tugger followed her with his eyes, a lopsided grin plastered to his face. Etcetera bumped him with her rear. "Oh, would you quit mooning and ask her to do the mating dance with you already?"

"Well…I-er…well."

"Alright, enough of this nonsense," Jellylorum called good-naturedly "Let's get the kits out of here before Sir Andrew bans us all from the set because they tore it up from excitement. Ipisis, that means you."

The grey patched tomkit hid behind Tugger, and the troupe made it out the door with little trouble. Alicia tried to hang up front with Mistoffelees, but Jellyorum and Admetus snuck next to him, and she found herself in the middle, next to Etcetera.

"So…" Alicia said as she kept her eyes on several scampering kits. "They got the whole Etcetera-Tugger obsession thing wrong then, judging by that?"

"Oh, whiskers, no!" Etcetera laughed "I was flat crazy for him when I was younger. We hooked up once, though. I think he did it just to shut me up, but he was sweet enough. But I realized that he would never be a one-queen tom, so I broke it off."

"Really?" Came Alicia's surprised reply.

"Yeah. I still tease him, and we're still friends, but I found someone a bit more dependable." The yellow queen grinned before yelling at Ipisis for roaming in the road. The kit hopped back on the sidewalk, and Etcetera let Cici continue.

"Who? Maybe I missed it, but I've always only seen you hang out with the other queens."

"Pouncival. He's been a little shy about public affection ever since that fling he had with Bomba. Before we got together, of course."

"Oh. You know, I can see the two of you together. It's cute."

"Thanks…oh, and before you ask, it's Pouncival." Etcetera smiled

"Uhhh, What's Pouncival?" Cici asked, confused. Etcetera grinned. "Jo and Veerle asked me already out of curiosity, I just figured you would too. Viceverca's father, that's what's Pouncival."

"Oh, you mean they thought Tugger…"

"Yeah. I said dependable. Tugger's responsible enough with kits, but he'd never be around, so…yeah."

Alicia had fun that night. Watching the kittens was a lot more fun than watching human children. They were so grateful to be out and so well behaved that she didn't have to worry about them too much. Viceverca spent most of the night zooming around in her butterfly costume, graceful and awkward at the same time on too-big kitten feet. Tugger spent the majority of the night being fawned over by Halloween moms, both because of his 'costume' and because of how utterly adorable his little girl Eclectica was. He thrived on the attention, though Mistoffelees could only shake his head. The little kit in question got passed around a bit, as she was still wobbly on her feet and Tugger's arms were getting a bit tired. Alicia got to hold her for a while and fell absolutely in love with her. The tiny queen curled up in Cici's arms and fell promptly asleep, a thumb in her mouth. She couldn't help but blush when someone asked if Eclectica was hers.

The night wore on, and after a few hours and a thousand sincere costume complements later, Mistoffelees was worn out. He didn't know how his brother did it, running around like a mad cat and flirting with anything that moved. Jellylorum had by now taken the youngest kittens home, and the tux tom found himself somehow saddled with Ipisis. Etcetera watched Veecee, and Tugger still had Celly, and a few other older kittens were still around, but he'd have to send them home pretty soon.

The cats made their way back to the studio, Tugger yawning hugely as he nudged sleepy-headed kits to their parents and said his goodbyes, agreeing to meet Cici on Saturday for the play. Mistoffelees, after magically making sure everyone got home safely, played the gentleman and helped Alicia to her van, where she gave him a friendly hug before puttering off. Strangely flustered by it, he teleported himself to Jake's house, where he snuck through the door in cat form just as Jake came in with Shelby and Julia. The black cat rubbed his owner's legs before hopping on the couch to fall into a troubled sleep.


	7. It's The Musical CATS!

**Chapter 7. It's the Musical Cats!**

New York City buzzed with excitement as Thanksgiving neared. Broadway lay mobbed with people trying to get tickets, and the unfortunate people who were employed to put up posters were out in the cold every day, refurbishing the walls as people stole the advertisements. 'CATS' had made it back to Broadway, and the city was reacting more enthusiastically than Andrew could have dreamed. Fans of the musical waited on tiptoe for advance tickets, and couldn't wait to bring their children and begin a whole new generation of fans. It seemed, even in the toughest and most disaffected of times, people needed an escape, and the simple world of the Jellicles and their celebration provided that better than any multimillion dollar film adventure or violent game ever could.

Alicia was thrilled when some of her online friends invaded her house, descending upon her when they heard the news she was in the production. And she wasn't the only one mobbed. John, Jacob, Jason, Michael, and a number of the rest of the cast had to dodge around the city, just to avoid their fan clubs. Impromptu 'CAT-cons' popped up all over the city, and amateur films of fan fictions were produced for Youtube. The city, realizing the fad sweeping through, closed the gates to the open junkyards to prevent lawsuits, and it became a common sight to see people in Jellicle costumes walking the streets. The first theatre show was in January, and within three days, it and the next week of productions were sold out. Andrew was thrilled (even if the current Phantom cast a theatre over couldn't believe it, and were therefore thoroughly miffed)

Old Deuteronomy had a hard time containing the tribe, many of which at least attempted to walk about in Jellicle form. Munkustrap and, surprisingly, Tugger, kept them reigned in to the vicinity of the theatre, though few of them were pleased about it. They did stop their complaining, however, and stayed in cat form more, after Jennyanydots and her youngest daughter Fallifax were nearly mugged. Luckily, Pouncival and Frank had been with them, and had knocked the would-be thief out. After that, for the first ten minutes of the day, the cast of Cats had to watch their feet for Jellicles in cat form coming in from the cold, but at least everyone was playing it safe.

The cast had filmed a special commercial for a few networks, and a few of the actors had decided to tape it. Alicia, since she knew her face would be on the commercial, and was absolutely ecstatic that she'd be on T.V. (even if she was unrecognizable) decided to throw a party.

"Shh! Shh.. Shut up guys, here it is." Admetus called as he turned up Alicia's T.V. The Jellicles and a few of the actors had dropped by for the 'first commercial' party. "'Ang on a minute!" Rumpelteazer yelled from the kitchen as she pulled out a tray pilled high with sandwiches, Alicia grabbing out the chips and putting the beer Mungojerrie had back in her fridge. "Only if Skimble says it's okay. I don't want him mad at me for a month 'cause you got slammed and ran through the apartment complex and dropped the Jellicle secret like a ton of bricks."

"DAD!" The tiger tom yelled out. Skimbleshanks yelled back "Let him go, Cici. I locked the door, and Misto-lad ain't about to let him out!"

Cici relinquished the beer with a sigh, grabbed one for herself, and threw another at Rumpelteazer, who caught it with her tail. The three raced to the living room, where the twins sat soundly on Mistoffelees' legs, clinking their bottles and laughing. Alicia was dragged onto John's lap on the floor, which didn't bother her, before Tugger lay down on _her_ lap, an arm snaked between her and John, which bothered the both of them. Jacob was squashed between Skimbleshanks and Frank on the couch, with Pouncival and Leah Sue on the arms. Admetus lay stretched across the back. Rosemarie and Victoria were squidged in the chair, either one's legs propped over one of Alonzo's shoulders. Tumblebrutus, Aeva, Phyllida, Jojo, Drew and Plato were piled together on the floor, next to the Maine Coon/main actor sandwich Cici was stuck in. The food was passed around at top speed, and Admetus clicked the Pause off. The shampoo commercial ended, and the screen went dark.

The overture swelled from the television as the Dancing Eyes flashed past. "The music…" A Mistoffelees scene popped into sight "The magic…" A scene of Grizabella appeared "The memories…" And then a scene of the Jellicle ball, Cici, Jo, and Phyllida in perfect, smiling view as they danced by "The madness of the Jellicle Moon…CATS, as you've never seen it before. Now and forever preserved on video, the world's most popular family musical. Experience the magic now with extended performances and a complete catalogue of the world famous music from both the original London and Broadway theatres." Several scenes of Growltiger's Last Stand played silently across the screen, followed by some of the song clips deleted from the original filming. "See your favorite characters brought to life in new ways with five additional ALW award winning original stories from the minds of the fans. A family adventure for young and old alike…CATS, Now and Forever. The magic will never end!" Clips from a couple of the fan-films ran across the screen before the Dancing Eyes faded back into view. "CATS…Coming to Movie theatres near you March 30th. Live performances returning to the New York area January 20th. Tickets on sale now. Experience the Magic."

The actors and cats cheered, clinking glasses together as they realized that their work was coming to fruition. John laughed as Admetus rewound the scene and did a step by step recap, swearing he saw someone moon the camera. Aeva and Rosemarie looked at each other at the end of the commercial, giggling like mad. "What?" Plato asked, confused "Parker…hahaha…Parker…oh, God, and we almost got him to do it too!…Parker filmed us looking all threatening, going 'Or Macavity will find you!' He almost put it in at the end!…you can tell in that last frame…Look!"

Admetus flipped back, and just after the Dancing Eyes, there was indeed a picture of the two in costume, looking quite evil. Everyone had a good long laugh before going a bit quiet. "Well…what now?" Rumpelteazer asked. Cici shrugged. "Never thought that far ahead…Movie night?"

There was a general consensus of 'yeah, that doesn't sound bad' as Tugger and Mungojerrie got up to raid Alicia's well stocked DVD shelf. Tugger, grinning, pulled out Phantom of the Opera, all three versions, to which he was met with a loud "HELL NO!" from both Mistoffelees and John. "He's been driving me batty all week with that damn 'Prima Donna' song!" John groused. Misto scratched his ear. "If I hear 'Masquerade' one more time, I swear by the Heaviside Layer I'll neuter him myself!" Tugger made a rude gesture and flopped back down on Cici's lap, looking for attention and getting nothing but snickers. He pouted. Mungojerrie was busy imitating a cartoon at a fridge, looking at one title after another, tossing ones he didn't like out "No, no, no. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Awful. Seen it, seen it, hate it…Aha!"

With a giant Cheshire grin, the tiger tom held up the DVD version of CATS. There was a small, collective groan, before Jacob sat up. "You know… I've only actually watched it about twice. It might be nice to just watch instead of having to think about where my frikkin' feet have to go."

Despite a few complaints, Mungojerrie popped the movie in. Soon, the actors were cracking up laughing at all the bloopers that made it in the final cut, as well as all the funny stories the film brought back. Drew, Mungojerrie, Jojo, and Rumpelteazer had taken a spin on the old 'Where's Exotica' game, the girls and guys paired off into teams for a drinking game. Actors kept rewinding to catch certain goofs, and all four wound up hammered.

Skimbleshanks dragged his adopted children home as soon as the movie was over, and Aeva poured their counterparts into her car to crash at her place for the night. The other Jellicles and actors began filing out, Jake apologizing that he couldn't stay longer, Victoria staying behind to help clean up before she and her mate slunk away. Soon, only John, Tugger, and Mistoffelees were left. It was just shortly after nine, and while Alicia was beat, John had other plans. Wrapping an arm around Misto and Alicia, he started off smugly "Well, loves, the party was fun, but it's done, and I am now _thoroughly_ bored. Let's go out and have some nice, irresponsible fun."

"John, you do realize we have work tomorrow?" Alicia asked, ducking out from his arm. He grinned "Sure, but all work and no play and what not. Besides, there's this new gay bar downtown I've been dying to go to…Karaoke, you know, but Jon's being a stick in the mud. What's say, Misto, help a guy out?"

"Even Tugger's not brave enough to go into a gay bar with you, John." The Jellicle laughed, going over to nudge his brother, who was cat-napping in the chair. "Hmm, what? Gay bar? I'm in!…As long as there are some cute lezzies." "Pig." Misto and Alicia said at the same time. John clapped Misto on the back and grabbed Tugger's hand, pulling him out of the chair. "Come on, glamour you beautiful cat selves and lets get out of here. I'm treating. Hell, I'll even get Cici a lap dance."

"This I wanna see," Tugger grinned. Alicia grabbed her keys and punched John on the shoulder. "You do it and you die." she laughed. They piled into her van and made their way down to the party district, Mistoffelees glamouring himself and his brother along the way. Tugger's glamour consisted of tight leather pants that left absolutely nothing to the imagination, a leather vest that had a hood and lapels done in what looked like authentic fur, his gloves and belt, a flippy hairdo that suited him a little too well, and a face that could have passed as John's twin in the right light, only with a stronger chin and a longer nose.

He pouted a little when Cici said "I hope you aren't planning on having any fun tonight, those pants look like they could cut off the blood flow to everything the waist down!" Misto immediately had to smack his brother, who, never a shy bone in his body, went to solve the problem by reaching for the zipper. John had to grab the wheel, since Cici couldn't breath; she was laughing too hard.

They made it to The Bird Cage unscathed, and when the owner, an aging drag queen named Mitzy, recognized John from CATS, they were let in for free. (All John had to endure was a thoroughly creepy slap on the ass.)

They found a table and ordered drinks, Misto volunteering to be the designated driver (he couldn't drive, but magic did come in handy for more than light shows.) Tugger was immediately accosted and dragged onto the dance floor by three drag queens and a bear of a black man that he didn't want to piss off. He enjoyed himself far too much. John simply leaned back and watched the Karaoke singers, looking for all the world like a king surveying his kingdom…until Misto knocked his chair out from under him, spilling his Mimosa all down his front. John stripped out of the shirt and hurled it at the Jellicle, Alicia laughing into her daiquiri between them. Tugger escaped his impromptu fan club and made it onstage, some how managed to get the karaoke version of his own song, and even more amazingly, find a partner to help him out (the partner was Mitzy, who actually had a rather nice falsetto voice.)

John, Cici, and Mistoffelees were in utter stitches by the second verse, until Cici spotted someone out of the corner of her eye and ducked behind John.

"SHIT!"

"Problems, love?" John asked, looking behind him. "What's wrong Cici?" came Misto's concerned reply. Alicia's eyes darted around "It's Richard."

"Who's Richard?" Misto asked

"My last ex-boyfriend."

"Then what's he doing here?" John said, following Alicia's eyes until he spotted the man. "Richard's bi…and he probably go a job here. He's a male stripper"

"Lucky girl" John smiled "Why are you hiding back there?"

"Richard's got a temper…and we ended on really bad terms. I just don't want to see him right now."

"Alright hon" John said, realizing there was something else and looking to see if Misto had noticed it as well. He had.

"You just stay behind us, and he won't bother you." the Jellicle grinned, helping Cici to her feet. Tugger's song ended and her sauntered back to the table, balancing the free Sex on the Beach that Mitzy had slipped him on three fingers, dodging Misto's foot as he sat down next to Cici. "You three aren't laughing your heads off, and even I'll admit that was flat ridiculous," he said, putting an arm around the girl next to him. "What's with all the quiet?"

"Nothing." Alicia muttered before John talked over her. "Ally's Ex showed up. It wasn't a good thing with them, apparently."

"John!" she hissed, looking mortified as Tugger scanned, following Misto's gaze. "You want me to claw his eyes out? I'll do it, you know."

"NO! Just leave it alone you guys. It's no big deal…I just don't like running into Exes is all."

"Says the girl who dove out of her chair." Mistoffelees murmured, leaning close to her ear. "You can tell us, Alicia. It goes no further than this table. Did he hurt you?"

Alicia sighed, realizing that the three weren't going to let it go no matter what lies she told them. Tugger and John were glaring across the dance floor at Richard, their glares growing fiercer after Misto's words. She chugged down the rest of her daiquiri, the alcohol slamming into her stomach and sending a bolt of false bravery up her spine.

"He didn't hurt me…not physically, anyway. He did a couple of commercials a few years ago, and some TV extra work, and he had the biggest ego I've ever seen. He was always tearing me down, telling me I was nothing. He almost had me convinced he was doing me a favor by dating me. He shot down every dream I had and made me think I was worthless. Half the time, he didn't even have to say anything. It was just this look he had. He's a hundred times worse than Bryn. I almost gave up everything, all my Cats stuff, my artwork and costuming…all of it. Then…" her voice faltered, and she looked away, a tear forming in her eye. "Alicia, you tell us what he did. I swear he'll pay for it." John growled. Tugger rested his head on her shoulder in support, and Misto rubbed her arm. She shook her head. "I'm making it sound worse…I…he didn't date rape me or anything…I caught him trying to kill my cat."

"What?!" Tugger and Misto growled. Alicia wiped her eyes. "I came home early one day…He had Leary tied in a sack, screaming and yowling…he tried to smash him against the wall. I kicked him out of my apartment and…I threw the first punch…but we beat the shit out of each other. He didn't press charges…and I just didn't want anything on the books…but…"

"Well, he's not going to get anywhere near you tonight. And don't you ever think you aren't worth a thousand of him. You are a brilliant performer, even with as little training as you've had. Don't you ever think anything different." Mistoffelees said adamantly, gazing into her eyes. She blushed. John yelled for another round of drinks to break the silence. The waiter was a beautiful little Asian tranny that John flirted with mercilessly. Cici and Misto fell into a hushed conversation as Tugger joined John in his flirting.

The night wore on, John getting restless and sauntering to the dance floor for a bit of anonymous fun. Tugger proved to be a lush, and his eyes would have been floating if they weren't closed in a seductive little catnap. Alicia was grateful to Misto for putting up with her. She wasn't much of a drinker, and tended to be a sad one when she did indulge. Mistoffelees demanded that she tell him every thing Richard had said to her that had hurt her, and one by one, the Jellicle shot down every comment and cruel remark.

Cici was just tipsy enough to be brave and still have her balance. After watching Tugger's black bear friend belt out 'Don't Rain on My Parade,' she marched up to the DJ and demanded P!nk's '_So What?!_' After tossing back a vodka shooter, she dragged Misto on stage with her, and pointedly glared at Richard throughout the entire song, dancing raucously and yet still graceful, just enough slink thrown in to earn a second glace that stayed. She changed a few words to suite her purposes, and Misto found himself spinning her in his arms or unconsciously lifting her more than once.

The song ended with a little laugh from P!nk, and a raspberry, but Alicia, a bit dizzy from the dancing and with more alcohol coursing through her veins than she really needed or was used to, did the one thing she knew would infuriate her ex, not thinking clearly about just _who_ she was doing it with. The tipsy blonde rounded on Mistoffelees and cupped his face in her hands, kissing him deeply. Misto's eyes widened.

He froze in place, before _'She's drunk' _shot its rationalizing way through his brain. The thought didn't come fast enough to stop his body's natural reaction, which was to kiss her back. A little jolt passed through Alicia's mouth as he flicked her top lip with his tongue before pulling away, half shocked and fully confused at what had just happened. Alicia had just enough time, after the disorientation passed, to see Richard's enraged face before Misto dragged her off the stage, the face of his glamour bright scarlet. He collected John from the dance floor and shook Tugger awake.

"Come on, you two have work, and Tugger's gonna have a hell of a hangover if I don't get him sorted out. Not to mention the one's you'll have of you keep it up," the black cat jabbered, speaking fast to cover up his embarrassment. Alicia apologized profusely under her breath, but Misto, not really offended, tried to get her to stop before she depressed herself. "Forget it, silly. You're just a bit zozzled is all. It's not a problem."

Misto got Tugger and John to their apartment, dropping the actor off at his door, forcing his brother into cat form and pouring him into John's arms, apologizing to John's boyfriend as he left.

He magicked Alicia's van to drive them to her building, parking and locking the thing and helping Alicia up the stairs in silence. Alicia, never a happy drunk, sniffled a bit in his arms, still trying to apologize for what she'd done. In her mind, it was the worst thing she could have done to him. She'd used him, embarrassed him, and forced him to do something that she was sure he'd never do on his own. It wasn't a matter of keeping the Jellicle secret safe this time. It was just plain abuse. She slurred out as much as Misto laid her out on her bed.

The black cat smiled, and placed a hand over her mouth. "I said hush. It's not the end of the world, and, believe me, I more than understand. You don't grow up Tugger's younger brother and _not_ have that happen to you once or twice."

"But…"

"No. Look, it was nothing, just a harmless little stage kiss to piss off that asshole ex. Trust me, it's fine."

"You aren't…I mean…are we still…?" Mistoffelees grinned as he ran his hands over her face and through her hair, using a spell to ensure she wouldn't get a hangover. He'd been through this round of questions more than once.

"No, I'm not mad. Yes, I will still respect you in the morning, and _Yes_, of course we're still friends. Now go to sleep, the last thing you need after Richard showing up is to wake up _not_ roaring and ready to take on the world, 'kay?"

"Okay." Misto smiled and blinked at her slowly, quietly dropping another spell to help her fall asleep. "'Night, Cici." he whispered as the magic took effect and her eyelids dropped.

"'Night Misto" she murmured sleepily before burrowing deeper into the covers to fend of the November chill. She didn't feel the gentle kiss he placed on her forehead before he let himself out.

Misto kept his glamour on as he roved the city to get to Jacob's house. He watched the traffic speed by in a haze, his hidden claws tracing the lines of his lips, the sensation of Alicia's kiss still floating on them, the tingle left behind not leaving. What had that jolt meant, he wondered, and where on earth was this friendship taking him?

He lay down at the foot of Julia's tiny pink bed once he got home, Jake's tiny daughter petting him in her sleep. The black cat sat in silent, disturbed contemplation the whole night, his thoughts humming steadily to a soundtrack of the little girl's breathing.


	8. Jellicle Cats

**Chapter 8. Jellicle Cats**

Thanksgiving neared, and with it, the usual chaos of the American actors and workers getting time off and booking flights to see their families. The Jellicles were scattered as well, some working out the last few kinks in their dances, which, though next to instinctual, they wanted to get as near to perfect as they could. Other Jellicles were hunting up the scattered members of the tribe and escorting them into the city. After a couple of days of awkwardness over the whole Karaoke bar incident, Misto and Alicia put it behind them and Misto explained some of the vaguer points of the Jellicle ball to Alicia.

Almost any cat could earn a song, though some of the cats of the tribe didn't take part in the dancing because they felt too old, and some had deformities that prevented them from getting around in Jellicle form too well. Special talents, like Skimble's train duties or the Twins' cat burglar skills weren't necessary for music. The songs could be story like, or extol on the character of the cat, or just something fun or poignant thought up by the individual. Some were short verses and some were arias, and everything in between. There was some sort of vague telepathy brought on by the Jellicle moon and how it affected the cats' physiology that allowed them to carry on almost random seeming songs and dances in tandem. The scientific corner of Alicia's mind was fascinated, but she toned it down, just to keep from getting on everyone's nerves, because none of the cats were entirely sure just how it worked either, they just knew it happened and accepted it.

She was also warned, without Mistoffelees giving her too much information, the Ball would last from dusk 'til dawn and that the process of sending a cat to the Heaviside Layer would be like nothing she had ever seen.

During this time, though filming of the canon wasn't complete (Andrew really wanted to do the 'Growltiger' and 'Gus' bits with Susan, and was using the filming sessions now as practice, extra material, and blooper reels,) the cast began filming the fan movies, which was really quite different than even the on-and-off singing of filming the straight musical. They had actual lines to learn, and there was a separate but similar character development in each piece. Alicia found herself in a feminized version of the Mistoffelees costume with a pregnancy prosthetic strapped to her middle, which led awkward scenes with John to become even more awkward. Misto had to cast spells on the both of them more than once just to keep them from cracking up in the middle of 'tender' scenes.

Jo Bingham lost her voice the week she was scheduled to do her scenes, which were surprisingly plentiful in the fan films. She had an insanity scene in the horror story, a decent little part in the still unnamed musical sequel, and a love story with, of all cats, Macavity, in the Episodes of Jellicle Life, which it turned out was actually a collection of seven separate fan fictions that Andrew couldn't decide between and had lumped together with a rather decent story line. Jo, who had very little faith in the straight acting ability of her understudy, secretly asked Andrew to let Alicia have her parts, which the girl accepted without a thought, though once she found out the truth, she sent an anonymous bouquet of flowers to her fellow understudy and thanked Jo within an inch of her life. The 'Episodes' Macavity had to be played by Frank, who had the next deepest voice, because Bryn kept getting grabby 'on accident' and Alicia wound up clocking him more than once.

As the actors prepared for their condensed performance in the Thanksgiving parade (which was tricky, because they would be on top of a flatbed float) Alicia spent any spare moment she had speaking with any cat she could get a second with, surreptitiously planting seeds in their ears on the younger Asparagus' behalf. She'd sort of adopted him and Jellylorum as an aunt and uncle, and could not imagine losing him. He wasn't the most spectacular cat in the world, but as far as she was concerned, he was family, and she'd do what she could.

Old Deuteronomy sat on one of the softer parts of the stage, his three sons around him. Munkustrap lounged at his left, with Tugger and Mistoffelees leaning against each other to his right. Tugger was fiddling idly with Misto's hair, his tail flopped in his younger brother's lap. Misto twined the end of Tugger's tail in and out of his fingers absently, both unaware of the little glare Munkustrap was shooting at them. Old Deuteronomy smiled at his two youngest, who had always been extremely close. The ancient Jellicle watched the stragglers of the cast stretch or chat amongst themselves and the cats. Near the oven, Alicia was speaking quietly with Grizabella. The old tom, feeling mischievous, decided to eavesdrop, not able to imagine what the two very different ladies could possibly have to talk about.

"…it's just such a pity… I mean, he's so kind, and Feline Leukemia…I can only imagine…"

"I didn't know…well, I'll certainly not forget that come the Ball… and he isn't worried at all, says he'll just take what comes to him?"

"That's right."

"Ah, Perry was always such a kind tom…I'm glad you said something…I know he never would have."

Alicia gave Grizabella a small smile and went silent as she watched the Jellicle flirt harmlessly with a passing Tumblebrutus, who blushed under his fur and gave an awkward little wave. Deuteronomy chuckled at the scene, and gave a little glance to Mistoffelees, who was busy grooming a shoulder. Misto looked up at his father, remembering a second late to roll his tongue back into his head. "Yes, father?"

"Quaxo my lad, it seems that you've lost a portion of your young friend's attention."

"I don't understand." Misto said, wondering why his father was mentioning his friendship with Cici at all.

"Miss Connors has seemed…unusually concerned with the younger Asparagus's health for quite some time now, hasn't she? This is not the first time I have overheard her speaking to cats on his behalf."

Mistoffelees smiled. Alicia had spoken to him about the very same thing, and he answered with a bit more relief in his voice than he thought should have been there. "Oh, that? Perry had a coughing spell and she found out he's got Feline Leukemia. She's sort of taken him and Jellylorum in, and she'd rather not lose him so soon."

"Mm, I see. Jelly didn't tell me she'd gotten a new owner. Perhaps it slipped her mind." Old Deuteronomy said, his chin in his hand. Misto shook his head, politely correcting his father. "They don't live with her; Alicia claims them as an aunt and uncle."

Munkustrap sat up a little straighter, his eyebrows up in mild shock. Deuteronomy spoke before Munkustrap could open his mouth. "Indeed? Even though they are quite obviously not human?"

Tugger interrupted Mistoffelees, tired of not being in the conversation and knowing the situation as well. "Ally's weird. In her mind, family isn't who you're born to, but who your heart cares for naturally. And apparently, that's Perry and Jelly. I'm expecting her to adopt Skimble and Jenny next, really."

Mistoffelees looked back at his brother, surprised he had said close to what Misto himself had been thinking. Deuteronomy smiled, looking back at the young blond, who was now speaking in hushed tones with Fallifax, who was giggling, her seven year old frame wiggling with standing still too long.

Deuteronomy smiled, rising and leaving his sons to their musings. He made his way slowly to Alicia, who looked up at him in surprise before bowing her head. She'd always felt he was due more respect, and bowing seemed appropriate to her. The elderly tom's smile widened, and he patted her on the head kindly. "You have a loving heart, Miss Connors. Guard it closely, and do not lose it as so many humans do."

Alicia stared at him unashamedly, confused not only at what he had said, but that he had acknowledged her with an affection she'd never seen him afford to any of the other humans of the cast. All she could do was nod to him and smile.

Old Deuteronomy left the set for the day: his visits were never long, and Mistoffelees came to sit beside Alicia as she mended a legwarmer someone had handed her. He smiled at her, blatantly ignoring Munkustrap's cleared throat as the grey tabby walked past them. "Are you excited about the Ball?" the black cat asked, a playful grin on his face. Alicia looked at him, deadpan "Oh, that little fuss? I'm afraid I can't make it…" her composure broke, and she threw the glob of knitting at him "Of _course_ I'm excited! Honestly, what sort of question is that?"

"Well, cats and curiosity and all that." Misto grinned as he picked a strand of yarn out of his chest fur. "But honestly, it's the day after that holiday of your's, Thanksgiving. Can you make it?"

"I'd better be able to." Alicia said, chewing her lip and looking at him nervously. "Misto…my parents want you to come back for the Thanksgiving weekend. God only knows why, but…I'll skip going there if you can't, of course, I know it's a bother …but…maybe you could just jinx us back?"

Mistoffelees looked at her in surprise. He'd been sure her parents couldn't stand him. He quickly went over what he had to do to help his father with the ball. It would be cutting it dangerously close, but for Alicia…"Sure." the black cat grinned "It's nothing I can't handle." Alicia smiled, giving him a huge hug before bouncing off to give the repaired legwarmer back to Frank, who thanked her profusely for saving his ass from Wendy. Misto stopped and looked back at himself. He _hated_ doing things last minute. Absolutely _hated_ it when it came to his magic, which, even after years of training, was still rooted in his emotions and therefore sometimes unpredictable. Why on earth was he rearranging his whole pre-Ball ritual for, of all things, a human?

Granted, she was one of his closest friends, had wormed her way into his heart in a matter of weeks and stuck there, but he wouldn't have made such a sacrifice for even Tugger, whom he loved beyond most reason. So why, the troubled Jellicle asked himself, why for Alicia?

Alicia tried not to think of the inconvenience of her parents and the fact they were asking her to embarrass her best friend yet again as she sat under Etcetera, Charlotte letting the queen try her hand at face painting. The only weird thing about the situation was that she was applying her own face to Alicia's. She grinned down at the actress, who smiled back up at her before asking something that had been niggling at her mind for a couple of weeks.

"Hey Etcy, you know Misto pretty well, right? You used to go with him, didn't you? "

"Not for too long, but yeah. Why?"

"What's the deal with his ears? Me and him and Vick and Karl were all goofing around backstage a while back, and he grabbed my leg, and the only thing I could get a hold of were his ears, and he just turned beet red and ran off."

"Oh…Oh, dear!" Etcetera giggled as she finished the paint job and went on to the wig. "Misto's well, he's, oh, how do I put it? He's wired funny. The backs of his ears are directly connected to…hmm-mm" At the 'hmm-mm' the blushing queen pointed to the V of her legs. Alicia's face went bright red. "Oh. My. God. And all the times I've accidentally gotten his ears as a cat….oh, god…"

"And _what_, precisely, is wrong with having your ears wired to your crotch?" Tugger demanded the next chair over, glaring playfully at Etcy. "I'm wired the same way, but everyone's always paying too much attention to the rest of me to notice."

"Oh, really?" said John, who had been eavesdropping the entire time and was now shooting smarmy grins at the lot of them. Tugger didn't see the look. "Yes, really-AACK! What the _Hell_ John!?"

John had, upon Tugger's reply, grabbed the Jellicle's head, tilted it back and dragged his tongue over Tugger's left ear, an evil grin on his face.

Tugger's eye twitched, and Etcetera and Cici burst into crazed giggling at the look of utter violation on his face.

"Oh, what's the big deal? You grab my ass and glomp my chest all the time."

"Yeah, your ass and chest, nothing…upfront." Tugger balked, leaning forward in the chair, his ear flickering madly.

"That bad, huh?" John said, sympathy eking into his voice.

"What part of 'wired to my crotch' did you miss? Cripes…I'm just glad I'm sitting down."

John apologized though a fit of laughter, and Tugger eventually recovered enough to make it out of the makeup room without embarrassing himself…or getting raped by John. Alicia made a memo to herself to not touch Misto's ears again. What signals had she been sending him?

The shooting that day went quite well. Alicia finished off her Etcetera days with a thoroughly understanding Frank/Macavity making her laugh whenever the scenes got too emotional. She began to see how Macavity had such a fan base. You just had to picture the rest of his personality as the non-harmful type of crazy…it was sort of like the Phantom of the Opera syndrome, falling for the bad guy.

There were so few mishaps that day that something nagged at the back of Alicia's mind. The old phrase, 'if everything seems to be going well, we've obviously missed something' kept shooting through her head. Everyone else felt it too. It was one of the things that sort of happened on set when all the cats were about. Everyone got slightly clairvoyant, covered in vibes, whatever one wanted to call it.

It happened at the end of the day, when cats were beginning to file out and actors beginning to trudge to the backpacks. A shriek sounded throughout the theatre from one of the bathrooms. Jennyanydots recognized the scream, and headed straight to see what had happened. After everyone waiting on pins and needles for half an hour, the older queen came out, carrying something in a black towel, her arms around a weeping Rumpelteazer. No one knew at that moment quite what had happened, but all knew not to ask. The smell of blood pervaded the air.

Alicia and Victoria, both of whom were quite close to the tiger tabby, sat amid the backpacks, holding each others hands and wondering what was going on, hoping their friend was not too badly hurt or ill. Misto came upon them after a time and hugged them, rubbing both their shoulders and giving his sister a significant look. Alicia did not understand, but when Mungojerrie came up to them, his eyes bloodshot and his voice thick, she wished she'd never figured it out.

"Stoff…I…Teazer's lost another set…I don't think…don't think we'll be able to do our thing this year…not so soon after…I couldn't ask her…even if I wanted…could you do the ol' puppet act this year 'round?"

Mistoffelees nodded kindly, standing to give Mungojerrie a rough hug. "Of course, old friend. Just see to it that Teazer gets herself healed up."

"I don't know 'ow much more o' this either of us c'n take, Stoff. This's the fifth set she's lost, not to mention the three by themselves… I don't think…she'll survive another…"

"You'll get there, one day. Just don't worry. It will happen, I know that much."

"You sure o' that?"

"Absolutely."

Mungojerrie hobbled away, wiping at his eyes and stumbling over things he normally would have missed. Alicia wasn't quite sure what had happened, but she had a good idea. There was no polite way to ask, so she turned to stark statement to find the truth. "She had a miscarriage, didn't she?"

Mistoffelees nodded solemnly. Victoria was crying. "Go home sis, you don't need to be this upset." Misto told her. Victoria followed his advice, and left quickly, finding solace in Plato's arms.

"I don't understand. I did the math. They've lost thirteen. Why do they keep trying? Wouldn't it be easier on the both of them to just…take in some kittens or something?"

"Yes and no," Misto began "They've always known there would be problems, because they were twins, but it's harder on Rumpelteazer to _not_ be a mother."

"I don't…"

"When Deuteronomy saw them in his visions, and told Mr. Eliot about them, they were both toms. That's why the poem reads like it does. But even father couldn't have foreseen that Rump has a genetic defect. She can't process testosterone, so even though she's genetically male, she developed as a queen. Even thought they were born in the same sac, they came out two different genders, which is supposed to be impossible. It's why she's lighter than him, too. She's known about it for a while now, and it bothers her. She wants to prove she's just as much a queen as any of them, and in her mind, that equals kittens."

Alicia sat there and processed the information. She had seen the way Misto had winced after he'd told her. Was this another Jellicle secret to be kept under the rug, entrusted to him because he was a part time healer for the tribe? Why did he trust her so, with so little hesitation?

She smiled "They never have to know that you told me. I won't say a word. I just hope they get what they want someday."

Misto smiled back, relieved he was off the bean spilling hook, and leaned on her shoulder wearily. "Thanks. I'd trust you with my soul."

Alicia blushed, and unknown to her, so did Mistoffelees. Why he had said that, he didn't know. He only knew it was true.

Thanksgiving at Cici's parents went off better than either of them could have hoped. Cici had dragged Tugger, John, Jo Bingham, and Etcetera along, all to keep her father's eye off of Misto, as well as to have more people to back up the whole charade. And friends over was just nice sometimes, especially since they helped Alicia and Mistoffelees forget about Rumpelteazer's misfortune for a time. They stayed up way too late playing video games in Cici's room every night, and John and Tugger flirted mercilessly with Kiki, who was a closet lesbian and found them both hilarious. Using Sheen's camera, the Cats and cast filmed a few little goofy home movies to run past Andrew, including Misto and the real Tugger tearing wildly through a field on Alicia's four-wheeler and all the cats running from a herd of dogs.

Mistoffelees, for sheer lack of room, found himself sharing Alicia's bedroom, along with Jo and Etcy. Kiki had had the good sense to stay in a motel, and rather out of place in-laws took up her room, while a set of cousins took up the hide-away on the couch. Everyone else bunked with Sheen, who's room was tiny and could barely hold John, Tugger, Sheen, and Sheen's 'friend' even though two of them were camped out on the floor. The flutter in his stomach at sharing her room troubled Mistoffelees, but he pushed it down by casting sleep spells on every human in the house not on the cast and sleeping at Alicia's feet in cat form. He managed to get the lot of them to the Tribe's current junkyard only an hour before he was supposed to start his duties.

Needless to say, he needed that hour. His father found him meditating in an old Lincoln, and soon, the Ball began to swing into motion.

Alicia sat down on an old trunk, out of the way as the cats did some last minute preparations. Jellylorum was shooing the kittens too young to attend to various dens, their eyes drooping in a magic induced sleepiness. Mistoffelees was busy looking over the strange instruments of the cats who would not be participating due to age or deformity and occasionally looking at the perimeter of the junkyard and doing something or other with a pulsing blue mage-light. Tugger, after a quick word with Bombalurina, disappeared into an old R.V., his tiny daughter Eclectica asleep and tangled into his mane.

Skimbleshanks sat down next to the curious blond and patted her on the shoulder as Veerle and Drew joined them, sitting down at their feet. A thin black and white queen peeped out inquisitively from behind a car nearby and then darted away when she saw the humans. Skimbleshanks chuckled ambiguously and settled further into his seat next to Alicia, who looked his way, confused.

"Aren't you going to dance this year, Skimble?"

"Ah, some, but not as much as I used to. I'm feelin' my age this year, and I'm not about to hear it from Jenny for two weeks if I strain something. Ah, well; but you're a lucky lass aren't ya? All you humans are lucky this time around, there's a new few songs this year."

"New songs?" Alicia and Veerle asked at once. Skimble smiled, his face crinkling around his teeth. "Aye. Well, with Old Gus not old any more and Grizabella going up a few years back and cats moving on and such, we had to fill in spaces. Happens every five years or so. Cats move on or opt out and new songs get started. They'll probably persuade me to dump mine in a year or two. I'll be glad."

"But I _like_ your song!" Drew groaned. He knew how things went with the cats, but that didn't stop him protesting. Skimble threw up his hands.

"Oh, now, don't get me wrong, I'm rather fond o' it myself, but I've been a railway cat for over eighty years now, and how many people do you see on the train now these days?"

"Well, yeah but…wait…_eighty_?" Alicia said, peering closely at the cat. Drew and Veerle just shrugged. Skimble took mercy on their confusion and explained.

"Ah, well, I'm on a second life. Bein' a railway cat has its dangers, and I got squashed one too many times."

"_One_ too many times?" Veerle laughed "How many is just enough?"

"All the ones that don't kill ye, lass. First it was the leg, then m'tail, then the other leg. The last one…let's just say four wasn't my lucky number that year."

"Ouch."

"Aye. Ah, maybe the train'll pick up and I'll be in a job for a while longer. Either way, my song's had one of the longest runs, and I'm sure cats are getting tired of it, though I know they'd never say so. At least little Skitter got a song."

"Skitter?" Drew asked. "Oh, aye, Skittermilly, the little patch-tux you saw peepin' round earlier. She's one of mine. It's always a pleasure to see one of your own getting a song."

"Skimble, just exactly how many kids do you have?" Veerle asked, since over the years she'd long since lost count. Drew and Alicia were busy balancing on each other trying to catch a glimpse of the speedy Skittermilly as Skimbleshanks laughed and answered

"Well…don't be tellin' Jenny, but I lost count. In between the litters and the ones we've taken in…and my memory not being the best to begin with…well…" Skimbleshanks shrugged limply and grinned as Veerle giggled. Alicia and Drew gave up looking for Skimble's daughter and Alicia rolled off the actors shoulders, dragging him back to his seat and resting her head on his as she spilled the questions Mistoffelees hadn't answered to the Railway cat, her curiosity known no bounds.

"So, how does this whole thing work anyway? Misto only told me so much."

"How do you mean, lass?"

"The songs, the dancing-You! How aren't you seen or heard or…who does the music…who puts the songs in order…how-?"

"Whoa-easy lass!" Skimbleshanks laughed, putting up his hands to stop the onslaught "one at a time, you're like a kitten their first year!"

"But it IS my first Jellicle Ball!" she protested, a phony pout on her lips. Skimbleshanks ruffled her hair and grinned. "Ah, now I know that. Well, first off, Old Deuteronomy and Misto-lad hide the place and noise magically-not sure how, just know it works. The cats that don't want to participate, or the ones missin' limbs that have difficulty usually take up the instruments, most of which we've made ourselves, by the way. And a warning, don't think it'll sound the same. Cat music is different from human music. And as far as the song order, well, Tugger usually crashes in whenever he feels like it, and my two idiots scare everyone off to do their thing when they-erm-feel well enough, but unless Macavity shows his face, we usually just know. One of those ineffable Jellicle things."

"Don' worry yore 'ed," Drew said in his Mungojerrie voice, wrapping an arm around the mesmerized blond "Ya get used to it. It's flat awesome."

Alicia smiled at the two before a loud "Hello!" rang in their ears. It was Tugger and Mistoffelees as they came up waving at the small group.

"Where are our clones?" Tugger asked as he sat down in between the girls, twining one arm around Veerle and the other around Cici. "John should be here soon. Jake couldn't make it, Julia's sick"

"Oh, pity. Hope the little mite gets better." Tugger said. He was rather fond of Julia, even if the little two year-old pulled his tail in cat form sometimes. Misto grinned as he plopped down exhaustedly behind Skimbleshanks. "It's just a cold, but she's little, so they're careful. You settled in, Cici?" Alicia looked over at the tux as he turned to her. "These things can take for-bloody-ever, and it sucks, well, at least for the humans, when there's no bathroom nearby."

"I'm good," she laughed. "Um…is it okay if I record the songs…just to remember?"

"I don't see why it wouldn't be. Here, use this." Mistoffelees closed his eyes, and from the various elements of trashed recording equipment, conjured a frightful little microphone looking apparatus. "I'll filter out whatever you want later, but I can't hang around too much, Father's been having me do more and more each year."

Alicia nodded sweetly, a huge toothy grin taking over her face "It's alright, Misto. I didn't expect you to hang around, and I don't think I'd be able to _not_ enjoy myself tonight."

Mistoffelees returned her warm grin, and clipped the little device he'd made to her shirt securely before running off to disappear somewhere in the towering junk piles, which seemed far too large even for a New York junkyard. Tugger gave a jaunty little nod of his head before unwinding his arms from around the girls and sauntering off, his hips taking on their trademarked sway. Skimbleshanks threw a polite salute and brushed off his fur as he walked away, disappearing into the background as well.

Soon the only visible life in the junkyard were the humans, scattered amongst the junk in tiny enclaves of three or four, and adolescent Jellicles looking around in confusion, as well as some older regular cats who seemed to wait in anticipation for the coming event. John snuck in behind Alicia just as the last rays of sunlight disappeared in the sky, and as one, he, Alicia, Drew, and Veerle sat hunkered together in silence as they felt the velvety hush of night fall over the junkyard. A tiny blue light of impossible brightness flickered over the area for a moment, and suddenly, everything swung into motion. The blaring lights of the city disappeared to reveal true starlight, and the full moon, hazed to a delicate lavender color, shone down on the landscape.

The music swelled from nowhere, and everywhere, and Alicia could not find any of the musicians in the scenery, though she tried. The music was unlike anything she'd ever heard before, haunting and happy, frightening and foreboding, inviting and warm all at once and more than that, more than she could describe in a lifetime of trying. It was an ululating pulse and a frantic beat, an operatic masterpiece and a jig, every type of music she'd ever heard and yet none of them. She could identify none of the inhuman instruments, but as the junkyard came alive with cats and the pulsing magnificence of their music began to force her heart's rhythm, she dropped her searching curiosity and lost herself in the melodies as her blood pumped in time to the music.

Alicia felt John's pulse behind her, Drew and Veerle's off to the side, and a strange, tickling tendril of thought edged at her brain as her heart seemed to grow in her chest, and she knew that this was the true magic of the Jellicle ball, that she was sharing her consciousness with all the other cats and humans present in the junkyard, and they were sharing theirs.

She watched in awe as the adult tribe cats explained the wonders of felinity to the youngsters and the initiates, the normal cats, and when she saw Misto wink at her, she knew he was explaining things to her as well. The dancing was like nothing she had ever seen, wild but controlled, more flexible than any human dancer could ever hope to be, even the sturdiest cats turning inside their own skins with moves that seemed impossible. Cats moved individually but in unison, the dance as ululating as the music, and Alicia felt her heart rate go crazy as the first dance of the Jellicle Ball reached crescendo.

After the introduction, the normal cats thinned out, some looking regretful, as if they weren't ready for something, others darting away terrified. Those that remained gathered around Old Deuteronomy, who was sung into presence by his three sons and the rest of the tribe, the song nothing like the one of the musical. Alicia felt like she was in church, only the things she was supposed to feel, the reverence and respect, were actually there, directed at the feline monarch in front of her, power emanating from his form.

The old Jellicle intoned a divine sounding poem about how cats were introduced into the tribe, and with a slight smell of blood and a gasp from all the humans, most of whom had never seen an initiation, watched as all the cats slashed their paws with their teeth, even the normal cats. A double circle was formed, normal cats and Jellicles, with Old Deuteronomy in the center. Mistoffelees' fur glimmered a fantastic blue, and a pure white light shone in Deuteronomy's normally dark eyes, and slowly the normal cats grew in size, their bones transforming and their fur patterns changing slightly as they stood on two feet. Soon, twenty more Jellicles were in the circle, and no normal cats, and Alicia understood that this was what Asparagus had meant by his mother being an initiate.

The music changed, and a celebratory feel took over the air as Deuteronomy and Mistoffelees faded into the background, the older cat surrounded by concerned queens of varying ages and the tux slinking away into darkness to appear at Alicia's feet in cat form, devouring a humongous rat, obviously tired from the expenditure of magic. She rubbed his back and smiled in silence, knowing there was nothing she could say to express the wonder she felt at everything.

The night wore on, cats, Bustopher Jones, Tugger, Skittermilly, and Jennyanydots among them getting their songs. Skittermilly, it turned out, was sort of a mix between Victoria and Jennyanydots, a shy little dancing stray who taught the kittens and fellow strays the ways of her kind, but scurried away from humans on principle. She hissed and ran off in a flash when a certain hip jiggling tom cat crashed onto the scene with a monstrous set of midair back-flips and a rock-star quality yowl.

Tugger's song was far more interesting and wild than that of his stage counterpart's, and Alicia could really far better understand why every queen and half the toms were always chasing after him. Bustopher of course boasted of his epicurean feats and Jennyanydots was joined in a wonderful production by not only cats glamoured to look like enormous mice and roaches, but the actual creatures themselves, who moved objects all around the yard to look as if everything were animated by magic.

After a time, Mistoffelees got up, switching to Jellicle form and taking Alicia by the hand as he waved to a young tom across the junkyard. Before Cici could ask, the black cat whispered "Trust me." As the tom made his way towards them, a variety of material and metal flew from the piles of junk and collected around him, until he resembled a rather armored version of Mungojerrie. Alicia felt her control of her body leave as Misto winked at her, and odd bits of junk collected around her as well. She felt herself propelled towards the younger tom and with fear, excitement and anticipation as she realized that this was what Mungojerrie had meant by 'the old puppet routine.' Her body moved in ways that she knew were physically impossible without magic and her voice rang out along with Mistoffelees' mellow tenor and the young tom's slightly deeper one as she was propelled around the junkyard by the magic of her friend.

The song drifted into another, and the material and metal fell away, and Mistoffelees helped her to her seat, smiling before dashing off to dance as one of the cats Alicia didn't know lead the tribe in a raucous swing-y sort of number. Alicia watched in awe as the dancing continued throughout the night, rocking in time with the cats in John's arms (which had latched onto her at one point and hadn't let go since).

Suddenly, it seemed, the music softened and cats began to clear away from the centre of the junk piles, leaving an empty plane devoid of dancers. Whispers and mews sounded quietly from the sidelines, and pairs of cats began to make their way to the middle. The young tom from before, a grey tabby with a startling gold blaze on one half of his face and hair, who it turned out was Munkustrap's only son Pawdivere, made his way to the shy Skittermilly. Bustopher Jones drew quite a few stares as he danced a quiet waltz with a pure white Persian queen, surreptitiously hiding the fact that she was missing her right arm. Several other pairs of cats, most hetero, but a few of the same gender, slowly made their way to the centre of the junkyard.

Alicia felt she should be embarrassed when the dancing transformed into other things, things only insinuated by the stage, but she couldn't turn away. John leaned closer to her, and her heart rate was going ten different directions. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" He whispered in her ear, his breath tickling. "It's not like we're bunch of voyeurs or anything. It's like watching art come to life…I can't define it….John…what are you doing?"

The man in question was slowly planting warm kisses down her neck, his hands gripping her shoulders. "Strange things happen under the Jellicle Moon…" he murmured, his fingers working at her shoulder blades. Alicia glanced around, calm, but with her stomach fluttering, to see Drew and Veerle wrapped in each others' arms, though both were in committed relationships. "John…you're gay…"

"Well, normally Jake's here, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you, too." John said, his hands roaming to her waist and pulling her against his stomach. Alicia couldn't deny she'd harbored a major crush for the man, and his hands and mouth felt amazing, his lips warm over hers…but this wasn't right…at least, not right now, though she couldn't place or imagine why.

"John…wait."

"Mm?"

"Oh, I've got to be crazy for this…but I just can't."

"Are you okay? …I wouldn't hurt you, and I'm clean…"

"I know John…but I just…it doesn't feel right…not this time." Her face went deepest scarlet as she looked way, but John smiled at her kindly, holding her face in his hand and kissing her cheek gently, understanding. "Maybe next time, huh? Maybe with someone else? Someone you truly care for, that's not just going a little crazy in the moonlight, hmm?"

"Maybe…but why? I don't understand…why?"

"Strange things happen under the Jellicle Moon, and there's nothing like being part of this in the arms of someone you care for…but I'm sure you'll find that out later on, love."

"Are you okay?" Cici asked, though she was able to feel just how not okay he was through both their sets of jeans. John grinned in an obscure way.

"I will be. Erm…you don't mind if I just...you know…hold onto you for a while, do you?"

Alicia shook her head, and allowed John to pull her against his stomach, spooned up against her back with his arms wrapped tightly, and rather protectively, around her. The two lay in silence, letting the music and its' gentle melodies drift them away into that state of near sleep where one is at perfect rest but is perfectly aware of all going on around them, the in-between sleep of children and cats that so many lose the ability to attain as they age.

Alicia lay there for what seemed like days, and only a moment, before the music slowly picked up, and newly mated cats and very rumpled humans made their way back to wherever they had been before the Jellicle Moon had driven them to their wonderful madness. Embarrassed words were heard but faded into the background as the cats continued to sing, their voices raised to the tribe and the Heaviside Layer and Old Deuteronomy, some hoping for a second chance, others only recognition.

Skimbleshanks made his appearance, much to the joy of the younger cats, who always loved his exploits, which changed and grew grander every year in the telling. The former Old Gus set up a roaring performance of Growltiger's Last Stand, narrating with ferocity as Tugger and an unknown Siamese tom half his age took the parts of Growltiger and Genghis, the sword battle raging for a vigorous half hour before Growltiger-Tugger fell to his 'death.' Jellylorum and Etcetera sang a funny little song that reminded Alicia of a seafarers' shanty, Grizabella sang a ballad, because she liked them and not because she actually needed the sympathy this time around. Coricopat and Tantomile sang a rather sad yet oddly humorous Irish-sounding lament. Perry, after fighting down a vicious coughing fit, led the older toms, Munkustrap, Skimble, and Gus included, in a raucous drinking song, the dance making fun of the effects of the drink, many sound effects thrown in for good comedic measure.

Several other cats sang, in pairs, groups, or solo, but as the sky lightened and the stars began to fade, Alicia felt the vibrations in the junkyard changing. Macavity made no appearance this night, and there was no tinge of fear in any mind, but random names shot through her brain even during the songs. Jellicle names, many of which she didn't recognize or was sure she could even pronounce properly, but a few she did know appeared, Perry and Old Deuteronomy among them. She looked confusedly back at John, who nodded, assuring her that he heard them too.

As dawn drew nearer, the names shrank in number, almost as if a debate was whittling down something. Alicia realized this must be how cats were chosen for the Heaviside Layer, if no last minute pleas were made.

Slowly, the names were whittled down to only a few, Perry's among these last few, Alicia praying silently to some unknown spirit to let his be the last name remaining.

It was.

The younger Asparagus stood in surprise, his face blank and yet somehow pleased. Cats swarmed around him, saying good luck and saying goodbye, for no one ever knew for sure if a cat sent to the Layer would return. The older tom received them all in silent merriment, his heart bursting, but still confused as to how he'd even become truly considered. When he saw the tearstained face of a little blond dancer, he knew the answer lay, somehow, in her.

Asparagus drifted over to Alicia, who was now standing, and wrapped her in a gentle hug. Jellylorum did the same before Old Deuteronomy came up behind them and put a paw on Perry's shoulder. "It is time, old friend." he said quietly as he took Perry's shoulder and led him away. Mistoffelees followed his father and the younger Asparagus up to the highest peak in the junkyard amid the voices of the cats. Faintly, the black cat heard Alicia's voice sing along haltingly, unsure of whether she was supposed to sing, but doing so anyway. At the summit, the black cat and his father joined hands, Asparagus under the pyramid of their arms. A blue light shone over Mistoffelees and a white one over Deuteronomy. The white in the tux's coat faded, even his face growing black, and all color faded from his father, leaving a statuesque figure in regal shining white fur where the humbler leader had once stood. The blue light passed out of Mistoffelees and into the arms of his father, before the black cat collapsed, his white returning and spreading until he was as pale as his sister.

The white Mistoffelees slipped away, conscious but weak, drifting through the crowd of cats as he turned to watch. As the first pink rays of dawn began to peer over the Junkyard, and the hidden forms of buildings began to once again shadow the enclave, Deuteronomy placed his hands on Perry's face. Nimbusing white light and spiraling blue shifted from the astonishing white form of the leader to the dull coated tom who's face he held. Slowly Deuteronomy's color returned as the light bleached away Perry's brown and grey coat. The moment the last hint of color left his fur, Perry curled into a ball, only to begin floating away, his form lifted by some invisible force. He stayed stationary over the singing cats for only a moment before his limbs flew out, and with a soft white haze, he began to dematerialize, his body separating into its individual elements and diffusing into the air over the cats' home. With a final wink of light, he was gone.

Alicia felt tears stream down her face and a burning lump fight with her voice as she watched wordlessly the death or rebirth of her friend. His dissolving light-struck form held her eyes, and her ears were deaf to almost all else when a gentle tenor voice pierced through the deafening roar of her silence. Mistoffelees stood beside her, his fur already returning to normal, a smile on his face as he sang with her. Tears threatened to escape the rims of his own eyes, and his hand was warm in hers, their intertwined fingers buzzing as their voices floated away in unison, singing Perry to his next life. When the last trace of what had once been Asparagus the Younger faded into the day, and Deuteronomy was slowly singing something that Alicia couldn't quite hear, Mistoffelees took Alicia in his arms and rested his head on hers as she wept, knowing it had been wonderful for her, but hard as well. Cats began to file out of the yard, the Ball over for another year. Most would stay in the city long enough to see if Perry would return, but some had to leave immediately. Mistoffelees sat with Alicia into the true morning, allowing her to recover before he took her home.

"Will he come back or is he…" she asked as they walked to her apartment together. Mistoffelees smiled a sad smile.

"That's all up to him now, whether he comes back or not. There's never any real way to tell."

"I just don't understand…how…is this magic?"

"We don't really know. Some think it is, some think it's just the gift of the Everlasting Cat. Some think it's just a chemical reaction or something like that. We don't know. But when they separate…something keeps their mind alive…something lets them come back, as kittens or in refreshed, healthy bodies. We don't know, Alicia. I don't think we're meant to." Mistoffelees explained in a hushed voice. No one _did_ know, and he preferred the mystery.

Alicia walked with him, tucked into his chest against the tears and the cold, before looking up at the Jellicle whose arms were wrapped around her. "Misto?"

"Yes?"

"I've never believed in God. I couldn't comprehend some supposedly loving creator just abandoning us to our own devices with no knowledge of what comes after, with nothing but blind hope."

"But…?"

"Would it be wrong for me to love the Everlasting Cat, even though I'm human?"

"No," Misto said, a smile hovering on his features "No, I don't think it would be."

They reached her apartment building in silence. Mistoffelees put a tiny spell on her to help her fall asleep, and said his goodbyes tiredly, the smile he'd gained earlier not leaving as he watched her put the little microphone away for the next day. He left, shutting and locking the door for his friend as he went, his stomach uneasy at what she had asked. But humans had worshiped cats once, long ago, so he could not see where there would be any harm.

_The Next Day_

Alicia was stretching out on the floor, using Jake as a partner and chatting with him, asking how Julia was (she was fine) and describing the Ball. Jake listened with interest, because every one so far had been different, and this had been the first he'd missed. Just as Alicia was beginning to describe Perry's ascent, tears in her eyes again, a ruckus sounded at the door.

Perry, looking thirty years younger and healthy, the only real change to him being a lot more brown in his coat, stood at the door, an awkward smile on his face. Jellylorum held his arm, looking ten tears younger herself, all the worry she'd silently carried for so long gone at her mate's healthy return.

Alicia leapt from the floor and tackled the tom in a monstrous hug, beyond happiness that he'd returned. Understated as ever, Perry hugged her back and patted her on the head, saying, "I'm glad I'm back too." Alicia nodded and began to go back to her stretches when Jellylorum caught up with her.

"Thank you," the pale queen whispered in her ear. "You spoke up when he wouldn't, and for that, thank you."

Alicia didn't know what to say, but for the rest of the week, nothing ruffled her feathers at all. Her happiness was simply too strong.

Mistoffelees was glad for her happiness, and only worried slightly at the little tinge of jealousy he felt at not being the one to provide it. But that was alright. He knew she would always be his friend.


End file.
